tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36081162168598853842024-03-06T13:36:07.539+05:30BirthbondsBirthbonds is a journal of a woman,a mother, childbirth educator and a doula.Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-88593904823707170962016-07-02T19:29:00.001+05:302016-07-02T19:53:06.069+05:30Inadequate 'Feed'One of the most common discussion I have had with new and old mums is about their 'feed'. I wondered what this word actually meant. There are some amazing criteria of measuring the 'feed' and there are some extraordinary rules about feeding. <div><br></div><div>Let's begin with the feed phenomenon</div><div><br></div><div>Almost all mother in laws/ mothers complain about new mom not having milk. </div><div>"इस को feed नहीं आ रही"! Isn't it just fantastic to undermine the mother right off the bat. I wonder how wise old women who have fed their own child(ren) don't know that there is no milk in early days. Seems like all Mother Earth goddesses were dripping milk from the moment the baby fell out. </div><div><br></div><div>Add to that more expert misinformation from the professional/medical staff. Feed 15 minutes per breast or some such number every 3 hours. Gee! That can't be tough. You understand time don't you? Sure, so does the baby. Such a silly child if he dares to need his mother before the scheduled feed time. </div><div><br></div><div>Here is another kicker. Just tickle the baby if the baby sleeps. Continue to keep stimulating him for the required 15 minutes till feed is completed. One question though, why is the hungry baby sleeping at the breast instead of feeding? Well there are many different choices for the answer... You can take your pick</div><div><br></div><div>They get tired</div><div>They don't know how to</div><div>They have to be reminded ....</div><div><br></div><div>If any living creature got tired of nourishing themselves then there is very little or no hope for survival.</div><div>One thing babies are born knowing and needing is sucking</div><div><br></div><div>Add to this sore, cracked and bleeding nipples. Engorgred and painful breast. The squeezing and hurtful massaging. Constant undermining of the mum and a really stressed out baby is begging formula and great pumps to save the day </div><div><br></div><div>No one ever wondered that's nature's elegant and simple design is for survival of species. So perhaps we are getting the wrong result because we are doing some thing (many things) wrong. </div><div><br></div><div>Of all the mammalian species, the upper class educated women find challenge and failure at breastfeeding </div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilZQwzUj0TklyyGsYVuiPfom_w_GUg_Flr7KAx3-0pOyqb_f252bfGdKdv2EiwbrLRhqnP0UWPwQSaddJbwiyU3wiJsMogCnzyA3fjNO2K-eMKVmpQFBTHzG7Rl6SbffO506Iv-EWbn4s/s640/blogger-image--1997376613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilZQwzUj0TklyyGsYVuiPfom_w_GUg_Flr7KAx3-0pOyqb_f252bfGdKdv2EiwbrLRhqnP0UWPwQSaddJbwiyU3wiJsMogCnzyA3fjNO2K-eMKVmpQFBTHzG7Rl6SbffO506Iv-EWbn4s/s640/blogger-image--1997376613.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-4635902894097213992016-06-26T09:25:00.001+05:302016-06-26T09:35:08.365+05:30The Independents !!!From the time I had my own kids, there is this idea of an baby who is independent. Like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I have yet to see one. No one actually has. <div>The formula is the magic potion the transform human babies into independent babies. No other mammal has that potential, only humans. </div><div><br></div><div>There are many benefits to starting just one TOP feed apparently. </div><div>1. Baby will get used to the bottle</div><div>2. Baby will be well fed and sleep better </div><div>.</div><div>.</div><div>. It is quite a list </div><div>But the best of them all </div><div>Baby will become independent ...</div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">One very frustrated day, I decided to test the independent baby theory. Just to clarify, I wasn't frustrated with the baby or breastfeeding. That was going great and wonderful. I was frustrated with the top feed advice coming hard and fast every time the baby so as much moved. I got a new bottle and formula and sat on the dinning table with my baby. After seeing me sitting there for an hour or so, every one began to gather around asking what was wrong. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">It is said I had an evil smile on my face, when I said, well, I am waiting for the baby to get his food ... It's Top feed aka formula and let's see when he will sterilise the bottle, boil the water and get his feed...</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">I guess everyone avoided me after that except my dad, he found it hilarious. He is a baby friendly person. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Well that was that ... </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">When I went to work with new moms and baby, it was the same thing over and over again. This advice to make the baby independent was all over the place. As I sat with this mum in her room I saw the mother and the mother in law hovering around, the young mom looked at them for help, care, assurance, love and I wondered... We depend on our mothers' families all our life... We as adults are not independent of them. In fact, we are depending on our 'mother' for advice and support for making our child independent.... <div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div></font></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSJHpWl3SoJWh6jYrJFBABvjkq5-jykB8-YwAIT9VJkDV0BKKHzfzOcSQwwJfctVSy9SwN90HZBANuyxCOox8mKMQ3XGd1w2_5JdUzqjycP6Tg7N3Z0G4LyWBTQ71xEYsZJMqWIKfwi8I/s640/blogger-image--1981650960.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSJHpWl3SoJWh6jYrJFBABvjkq5-jykB8-YwAIT9VJkDV0BKKHzfzOcSQwwJfctVSy9SwN90HZBANuyxCOox8mKMQ3XGd1w2_5JdUzqjycP6Tg7N3Z0G4LyWBTQ71xEYsZJMqWIKfwi8I/s640/blogger-image--1981650960.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-83887816417743714442016-06-24T08:51:00.000+05:302016-06-24T23:50:07.430+05:30I hear you baby !!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The world is changing at a tremendous pace. We are into 'nano' of everything. The instantaneous -isty of an instant. And perhaps our minds (a bit more comprehensive than the brain) has re organised the framework to this instant nano world. And perhaps that is a good thing too but we must pause an "instant" to think that does the world underlying the one we have created, move that quick too.<br>
To the best of my knowledge birth has not upgraded ever since it first came to be... gestation not quite so much either.<br>
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In the new world, with this new language, have we missed the voice of the baby... just arriving into our world, with a certain pre coded expectation, wait scratch that... pre coded imperative for survival. have we achieved such unconscious competence in this instant world that we are blinded to the intrinsic need of the baby.<br>
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It is a common belief that babies don't know much, feel much, understand much. True ! However, they know exactly what is relevant to them at that age. And more importantly they are able to completely understand what the world presents to them in the relevant context... relevant to that age. Moreover it creates the steeping stone to the next development. You cannot read a book without knowing the alphabet.<br>
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The simplest example of this would be their vision is 8 to 10". Sure they don't need to more since they are not going to be driving a car. What is relevant to them at this age is to see and begin to know who is holding them.<br>
That helps them know they are safe - security is the foundation of learning<br>
That helps them know the people around them - foundation of social interactions<br>
That allows them to exercise the vision and all its corresponding systems.. nerves, muscles, processing unit - physical and mental development.<br>
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Often I hear doctors say " the baby needs to be in observation". I see the anxious parents nod their head and stand outside large glass windows watching their baby "observed". Hooked on to monitoring devices, beeping away, the baby cries and then falls asleep.<br>
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After an hour or one too many, the baby is brought, sleeping and wrapped for the family's inspection.<br>
There is enough research floating around to say babies take some time to transition into their new world and depending on a multitude of factors, each baby will regulate in his or her own time. But all research says that they will regulate better in close contact with the mother and not away from her.<br>
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<a href="http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&id=82:the-importance-of-skin-to-skin-contact-&Itemid=17">http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&id=82:the-importance-of-skin-to-skin-contact-&Itemid=17</a><br>
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Are we adding yet another weight to the burden of adaptation but offering isolation instead of reassurance?<br>
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The most compelling argument that I have heard for keeping the baby away from the mother is at a fancy mother baby speciality hospital..<br>
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As the mother asked for her baby, the expert (doctor) explained 'The baby was being fed by the umbilical cord about 10 minutes ago so doesn't need food. Why don't you and the baby get some rest' (in your fancy private bedroom i.e. deluxe room for the mum and advanced tech nursery for the baby).<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You don't say !!!</td></tr>
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Still coming to terms with this one... of course the mum is food counter for the baby.. nothing more!!! Big Yay to breast pumps.<br>
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Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-47774038638183585462013-04-03T10:32:00.003+05:302013-04-03T10:32:19.054+05:30Whose Birth is it anyways?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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"We would love to do the childbirth preparation sessions with you but our doctor feels it should not interfere with the Birth"</h3>
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I had to say "what" a few times aloud and then some more times in my head before I even understood what this means. Frankly I am trying to make sense of this even as I write this blog. Perhaps the blog is my way to putting this in some kind of perspective, hence the title. </div>
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Since when does a woman who is preparing for birth, understanding and is willing to participate and work for the birth of the baby become a hindrance? </div>
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Since when does birth become the doctors "job"?</div>
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Since when do we just ignore that beyond these two players there is a baby, for whom it is the birth is not only the beginning but has long lasting effects?</div>
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It seems we're going down a completely new but even more bizarre rabbit hole here. While it took all my will power to react to the statement and those crazy variations of mental "what" helped, I ventured a question of my own. </div>
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How do you feel about this? </div>
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The question was a bouncer (cricket playing country). Primarily since he wasn't expected to be consulted ....at all. The fact that I did wanted to know his feelings was an alien notion. </div>
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One may think he may be pleased that someone cared to consider him in this picture. He wasn't. It seemed like I put him in a corner by that question. What could he feel? What is he supposed to feel? Was it even right to feel anything? </div>
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After all his wife was having a baby and the doctor was delivering it, so why ask him what he felt. What did he know about birth, about this class I was leading, about the medical aspects.</div>
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Interestingly,</div>
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it did not occur to him to question his doctor on this but he did not hesitate to discuss this with me.</div>
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Every one wants 'normal' birth ( and that's another discussion in itself ) the hospital effectively use technology and NICU' s as selling points </div>
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What does normal mean ... Collectively and individually </div>
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Choosing the hospital means convenience, where my doctor works, what my insurance covers, and even how good the room looks</div>
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Choosing the doctor... I still haven't figured out what people see when they pick a doctor.</div>
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Even more interesting...</div>
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Why do we do what we do?</div>
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Does this feel good, right or comfortable?</div>
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Are our decisions well thought and informed?</div>
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Do we feel supported and safe?</div>
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Shouldn't birth be about the baby and not a turf war?</div>
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Should we not welcome our children with love, joy and faith?</div>
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How information on relaxation, coping tools and birth itself would interfere with Birth?</div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
But most interestingly whose Birth is it anyway? </div>
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="324" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/x1sh3y" width="480"></iframe><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1sh3y_monty-python-the-meaning-of-life-bi_fun" target="_blank">Monty Python the meaning of life Birth</a> <i>by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/bjchua" target="_blank">bjchua</a></i></div>
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<em></em> </div>
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It is indeed important we begin to open up, talk and change this now since ancient wisdom and now research shows that how we are born is am important part of who we will be</div>
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Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-59300067474388278642012-12-10T11:30:00.001+05:302012-12-10T11:30:03.715+05:30Baby AgendaFor the longest time the final word in a woman experience of birth is... You have a baby and is 'safe'. What else do you want... Just this one sentence, it's multitude of variations where the key is that women should have gratitude for a live child... Oh yeah! Doesn't sound good now does it. <br />
The field bringing forth the next generation could only be grateful that she was 'processed' to be able to bear the fruit. <br />
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So this post is about 'safe and healthy'<br />
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The use of the word safe intrinsically means that its unsafe to begin with. This seems to be the language of fear. Is really birth unsafe? Then pray enlighten us how the human race survived, each generation doing better than the last. Each of us were to be born before we could do more for the 'safety of birth'. <br />
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The word healthy is again misleading... Since solid research and science says that the modern practices around pregnancy, labour, birth, postpartum care are leading to long term issues of health. Physical, mental, emotional and perhaps spiritual health of our race is at stake.<br />
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Looking back at the very first statement about gratitude for safety and health becomes a cruel joke on the mother and baby and the world at large. <br />
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When our aim is truly safe and healthy baby. Since we cannot separate the mother and baby. Safe and healthy baby means safe and healthy mother. Nature link the two in many complex ways, each one stimulating the other to make sure we live, and birth the human race. This complex process is a well tuned system that is auto run, mutually stimulated, built with all kinds of loops for all kinds of situation that nature deems safe and healthy for a new generation to be born and survive effectively.<br />
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If our aim is the same as what nature has programmed us to to achieve then how can our care be separate or away from nature's way and yet be called safe and healthy?!?<br />
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For every step that we reach, we need to look back to the few previous and introspect where did we leave the safe and healthy road. Births don't happen in vacuum for the woman, she is the individual and unique assimilation of many aspects of her genetic, upbringing, experiences and hopes to name a few. She is at all times backed by the 'code' that is programmed into each of us and builds on that through her life. Pregnancy is a part of that continuum and baby is an intrinsic part of her sum total, the code and the uniqueness the baby brings in the equation. <br />
So simply said ... They are already on the well tread road of safe and health, so 'what's the point where she moved away from this path' is the more important question that 'what more does she want'... What she wants is just what nature intended, pretty basic. Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0Ernakulam Ernakulam9.978161 76.260621tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-7424064668364388012011-07-26T14:33:00.001+05:302011-07-26T14:33:34.990+05:30Pregnancy is a time of great Possibility…<p>A Father’s Birth Story </p> <p>Pregnancy is a time of great Possibility… It’s not just the creation of a Person but also creation of the Parent. While the father writes the Birth story of his princesses it apparent how he becomes the father of this child. The changes are both apparent and subtle…<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic_w0u7xTRer5Kc33zQEJr6LR3J-rLYsscgxy5UI3voqmX7JwVMYSpD3Vll7UoI_cIoIIPyl46d5GVqHNNuge8r-AmsV-1POFso0T2SvHcvHQ7RxO3RL7_ko0eLhaHwaSMyX_TPS1WLkY/s1600-h/DSC_64807.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC_6480" border="0" alt="DSC_6480" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGK6VPR-IJ5YF6PyC80ShkO0z3RZQV9PoPfiq73Wg40IbIgWSsVUw7WZbjNLBk2Kfs75F-hR9GOzX-FlSlYFrc7-Z_0i03pMkMywaovWpcKlHRF2OhZfZEsaR7KDcBNXXVIyigKbMsuSo/?imgmax=800" width="217" height="164" /></a></p> <p><b>Myra’s birth story</b> </p> <p>- <i>Neha and Rohit Sharma</i> </p> <p><em>Neha and I greeted the news of our daughter’s conception with a lot of joy and nervousness. There were many questions that both of us had. We were looking for a child birth educator and “Lamaze” was something that appealed to my left brain, however for some reasons we did not take up those classes offered by our hospital. </em></p> <p><em>Those were hot months of April, May, June 2010 and Neha was going through the most irritable state of being in first trimester but bravely managing home and self, while I was flying to Mumbai every week for my project. </em></p> <p><em>Divya’s name was suggested by Neha’s bhabhi, Shweta and she highly recommended Hypnobirthing course with Divya. Being the rationally wired engineer, I was skeptical when I heard of the term “Hypno Birthing”. I had associated the word hypnosis with sundry magicians and parlor tricks and was barely aware of the therauptic applications of hypnosis.</em> </p> <p><em>However, time was running out and we decided to meet Divya on a balmy August evening at GK. She was kind enough to accommodate us on a short notice and gave us a very patient explanation of the concept. However, we were not convinced that this is right for us. Neha had always felt that the suggestions do not work for her and she cannot vividly visualize herself in a particular situation even if she tries. Divya gave us an option of doing 1 session with her, and then decide. We both agreed.</em> </p> <p><em>The first session on a fateful Sunday changed all that. The lemon visualization Divya gave us was extremely powerful and we were immediate converts to Hypnobirthing. Divya also explained a lot of things scientifically including the evolution of Hypnobirthing and how Mrs Mongan conceived the course. The Hypnobirthing CD was an immediate hit with Neha and she found it to have an amazingly soothing effect on her.</em> </p> <p><em>Divya explained to us that the imagery about child birth that we carry in our minds is a product of popular media and far from the truth or real possibilities for women. Our thoughts are shaped by the media we consume and the thoughts then shape our body’s physical responses. We can vouch for the truth of this statement. Before we met Divya, Neha had almost all the pregnancy symptoms described in “What to expect when you are expecting”, with a healthy dose of education and positive imagery from Divya, all these vanished after just two sessions of Hypnobirthing. Then on, Neha’s pregnancy was calmer, she was able to handle the occasional morning sickness and heartburns. Most of all she became confident about her natural abilities and instincts to deal with the process of having a baby.</em> </p> <p><em>We started bonding with our baby, Divya shared a CD about baby’s life in the womb and how the baby recognizes voices of parents. She also gave us various handouts. The one which worked most for me was “A father’s promise”. I was greatly moved by it and would read it to Myra often. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSScHpicH4VOGBN_rZNt3mCZVpkpt7oKc18beQA6-NVosmZ6163UJRLDsg3EiwgHIAc6fmF16JKXIjsVTB02M-_Pcm8SeojoqG7Gbtrb-dovw9UVZMELP8scki4coOyYZ9WUsuQAk9Hkk/s1600-h/my_baby4_0947.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="my_baby4_094" border="0" alt="my_baby4_094" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNIRvr6vyLKkQjL18i-uYVG9zwjFbbhuo1eX0N4L8Pn1gFNrbNWtBoODy_6JM9WccJH72d1rFb7bNqcrmXUx01t-ymy5gRZpBVb9I4dkzt1l9svA9MxOIOlRQIIn2PBHAQ0SAtOlkG-S8/?imgmax=800" width="196" height="161" /></a></em> </p> <p><em>Neha started practicing her breathing exercises. I got my project changed to Delhi and started spending more time with Neha. Sessions with Divya drilled into us the significance of the opportunity to bond with baby and each other. Medically everything was fine, all tests were good, baby was gaining weight.</em> </p> <p><em>Then in September third week, we had our first scare. Neha was getting motions frequently and when we went for a routine scheduled check up. Suddenly our doctor asked Neha to get admitted for overnight observation as she sensed risk of pre-term. I remember speaking to Divya and her advising us to let doctor observe Neha and be satisfied with tests. We went through the night long NST, drips and injections. I realized how the medical system takes over, and how we were woefully inadequate to fully comprehend and respond to the situation at hand, as nurses went about doing their thing as if on an auto-pilot. Though morning was cheerful and by afternoon we were back at home.</em> </p> <p><em>The incident gave us a lot to think about. In some way it was a dress rehearsal of what can go on during the time of actual delivery. We realized that we need to be better prepared, ask more questions to Divya, read the Hypnobirthing book with sincerity and be sure about our birth preferences. I also realized that I need to be assertive and ask the right questions to medical professionals.</em> </p> <p><em>We completed all our Hypnobirthing sessions by October end. Neha and I moved to Punjabi Bagh, from where our hospital was close by. Divya offered to come and talk to our doctors about Hypnobirthing. The three doctors were receptive to the concept and I think Divya made an impression on them with her reasoned talk. As a result doctors agreed to various requests, and were more open to our queries as they sensed we are serious about preparations and preferences, and comprehend the effort required from our side as well. </em></p> <p><em>We were extremely fortunate in getting probably the best team of doctors to work with us during the course of entire pregnancy. This was a panel of 3 Gynae-obstetricians, and Neha had very good vibes with her doctors. They were most competent, receptive and caring set of medical professionals I have ever seen. I have nothing but appreciation for the team of Dr. Varma, Dr Nitika and Dr. Poonam at Max Healthcare Pitampura.</em> </p> <p><em>However, when you are going through a pregnancy, new mothers around you share their experiences which are not always all pleasant. Many people told us that it’s almost impossible to have a natural birth in our hospital. That the hospital goes for C-section at the slightest sight of risk and so on. The constant deluge of negative news dented our optimism once again.</em> </p> <p><em>We foolishly contemplated changing the doctors. And so around a week before EDD, we called Divya and shared our fears with her, she re-assured us and said we are well equipped to go through the process of labour and delivery now. She also re-affirmed Neha’s faith and instincts in the doctors. We came back renewed after the kind meeting at Siri Fort Café.</em> </p> <p><em>The labor pain started 3 days before EDD, and we went to the hospital for a checkup. Neha was once again asked to be admitted for observation. The doctor said that it seems as if water has broken though she was not sure, and we should get labor induced. Both Neha and I were firm footed that we did not want to get labor induced, and we went through the sonography and NSTs. The sonography results showed adequate liquor and baby weighing more than 4 kgs (with 10% margin of error). We went home happily next morning. This time was much more peaceful than the September hospital visit.</em> </p> <p><em>A day after the real labor started, on 27 Nov 2010 morning. Neha continued her breathing exercises and we delayed going to the hospital till 5 pm evening when her surges became more frequent. It was going well till 10:30 in the night, when our doctor came and said you are doing well and lets wait till 5:00 am. Neha was very courageous, we had put on the hypnobirthing affirmations on our laptop in the labour room, and she was changing positions as learned in the HypnoBirthing course.</em> </p> <p><em>By 1:00 in the night, Neha was getting exhausted and throwing up. I was worked up with emotions, and it was only hospital’s night staff on duty, our regular doctors were supposed to come back only in the morning or if the junior doctor feels that its time. The junior doctor on duty was skeptical of our efforts and made a disparaging remark, which discouraged us. I called up Divya and she was at her best helping self even past midnight. We must have called her at least 20 times between 12:00 and 6:00 am. The kind of care and commitment she provided was beyond expectations. We consulted her at every step, and with her advise we got the doctor for ARM at around 5:00 am. The surges now became almost unbearable for Neha, but she was resolute. </em></p> <p><em>Around 6:00 am our regular doctors came to the hospital and Neha was taken to Delivery room. The doctors (Dr. Nitika and Dr. Poonam) were very pleased with the situation, and commended Neha for having the courage to go through the natural cycle. They said she looked all poised for a natural delivery. Doctor asked Neha to do squatting to bring baby down. </em></p> <p><em>And then 15 mins later Myra was born, a healthy child of around 3.5 kgs, she recognized my voice as soon as she was born. Her eyes were open and she was looking at doctors and nurses, amused and happy. Neha said that all her pains have magically vanished, and she went to a peaceful sleep, waking up during the day occasionally. Divya visited us at the hospital the next morning. We could feel her immense love for baby Myra, the way she held her.</em> </p> <p><em>Neha and Myra were discharged the very next day from the hospital requiring absolutely no medical assistance apart from routine instructions and vaccinations.</em> </p> <p><em>In the hindsight going to Divya and doing the Hypnobirthing course was the best step we have taken during Neha’s pregnancy. We should have joined the course pretty early rather than waiting for 5<sup>th</sup> month. Also we should have taken the birth preferences sheet more aggressively.</em> </p> <p><em>The amount of change in belief system and sticky education that happened during those 5 sessions is un-believable. Best of all it gave us a life long friend, philosopher and guide in the angelic Divya Deswal.</em></p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-50725651227487194742011-02-27T11:28:00.000+05:302011-02-27T11:30:00.763+05:30Lessons and Learning<p> </p> <p>With passage of time its becoming more and more clear to me what brings joy in my life. With passage of time its becoming more and ore clear that all I need to do is define what makes me happy… the rest is taken care of. </p> <p>What I teach in a class and what they learn…Each of my HypnoBirthing moms have taken something unique from my classes while I teach the same structured course each time. Sharing a HB moms birth experience. Its such letters in my inbox that bring me joy and also that I had a tiny part to play.</p> <p><em>Hi Divya, <br />Attached is what I had penned down right after you were over to visit us. Do let me know what you think. <br />Also wanted to say thank you for </em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivjuiieFAe03vEXA8jd21wY1g6C4jJ96-zmy739mLBIjDSme2Qmaw-APHFcrE90CjYPVgXe93kFK86HFBvyvnnZ__TLCoO4la1tvsQSIpIIFBHW47dZLiTJuTmZuwflempXYQlSqA1Xp0/s1600-h/168976_493243617063_597492063_6715891_6594590_n%5B5%5D.jpg"><em><img style="background-image: none; border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="168976_493243617063_597492063_6715891_6594590_n" border="0" alt="168976_493243617063_597492063_6715891_6594590_n" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB94QUCfVfmy__sXDT-jr4Tb0j5Q5hBF_46JHb5fS_ycwzofVh9eNEeu1OzKGyoke9BqxsQxio2K8MFXFBXqaVu5TtVjCICXX2FI-ZEiEDUT-ZRaUCaApXtqdPfY3PyG8e2UtCBo-RhGw/?imgmax=800" width="307" height="357" /></em></a><em>your time on the calls, it helps a lot to know how on track we are, and of course your constant encouragement and motivation cheers us up always! Thanks again! <br />  <br />Also attached is a picture. <br />  <br />Speak to you more soon. <br />Regards, <br />Nikita</em></p> <p><b>My birthing experience</b></p> <p>I had not thought about what birthing would be like, whilst I was pregnant; experiencing the kicking in the tummy and hearing rhythmic hiccoughs is all that made me realize that the baby is for real!! But of course experienced friends spoke about how it was equally important to start preparing for my birthing experience. …I owe my hypnobirthing classes to a very special friend who was so thoroughly satisfied with Divya Deswal’s pre-natal classes; and so had given me five reminders to call Divya and get enrolled for the next batch. These classes my friend suggested would help me ease out with all the surprise elements and prepare me better for things that I would experience for the first time.</p> <p>Divya introduced us (my husband and me) to her website <a href="http://www.birthbonds.com">www.birthbonds.com</a>, where I read and became familiar about hypnobirthing. It was our choice to go ahead and know more about this on the basis of what we had read. It is amazing how this concept of birthing is all about unlearning what you have heard about painful labour and just learn to believe in yourself, your body and nature to make birthing a very memorable experience.</p> <p>I also realize how important it is to have a birthing companion who shares or would be ready to understand this concept. I found that companion (and much more than that) in my husband. The classes were so informal where we talked about things important to us, understood our personalities and realized how our body so closely reflects our emotions. I thought I was one of Divya’s most obedient students, who did her assignments regularly, was always well-prepared for her classes (all papers filed up and in order), but little did I know that I needed to let go the feeling of being prepared and of being in complete control of any given situation. That is what a natural birth experience is all about!!</p> <p>I had been working from home the last two months of my pregnancy, and was always thoroughly engrossed in my work and was amazed how the nine month period, that initially I thought would never end, was just flying by. My last project deliverable was due for the 31<sup>st</sup> of January, and I had mentally prepared myself to start my maternity leave on the 1<sup>st</sup> of February (Due date: 9<sup>th</sup> February). On the 31<sup>st</sup> evening, an hour after finishing my last client call and setting up my out-of-office, I started getting surges that I recognized as early labour signs. It is so true that when you are ready for birth both physically and mentally, it will happen. You need to be at ease completely and can never plan this out. The same holds true for me, the day I stopped working ad was free from my work stress, my baby knew that now I would have all my time for him and he chose then to come in our lives! </p> <p>Through hypnobirthing classes I had learnt a lot about keeping your calm by doing a lot of birthing exercises and my husband’s role as a birthing companion aided me during the entire labour period. When my surges began I felt completely in control with the breathing exercises, of course there were periods of discomfort too, and my labour went over for a good 28 hours. But we had mentally prepared our minds to have a normal delivery,, and we opted against taking any pain killers to experience a complete and natural birthing experience, both for the benefit of my child and myself, and this just kept us going through out.</p> <p>To be frank if it was not for my husband, standing next to me throughout those hours, encouraging me with the rightly chosen words, I would not have been able to pull through. He knew me well and motivated me with the just right words to keep going.</p> <p>What I learnt through this birthing experience is that you should never underestimate your physical strength, and go that extra mile to have the most wonderful experience, that you will be proud of your entire life. It is also important to be aware and familiarize yourself with hypnobirthing and other encouraging aids that help make this such a memorable experience. </p> <p>My lessons for life through this experience that will help me keep my sane in all testing times are: <b>1)</b> <b>it is important to ‘let go’, 2) you cannot control it all, and 3) let nature help you out in the way it deems fit.</b></p> <p>Good luck and happy parenting!!</p> <p>Nikita Seth Arora</p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-75612581496345976282011-01-17T10:56:00.000+05:302011-01-17T12:47:36.147+05:30I am Grateful…<p> </p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgueBWg9R69v93slTQlHB_fLk2g66kmVA3lVMtoAVBxkXQwF3Hpytng44OF2I3Fjh9M-hDlHkPCpupLYE6hJ7ENSAjOfDZ8xBcqsVdye7r6LjdKwMiz5E-JoUGHmUo_aFhGWYsYYC2QZbM/s1600-h/doula%5B12%5D.jpg"><img style="border-right-width: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top-width: 0px; border-bottom-width: 0px; border-left-width: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="doula" border="0" alt="doula" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPMVxCzWl8tE-1q72gCNcVsCa4Ze1-Z2sHbfmJb_slkl50BXCQcl8f2xIt_WimiA60RlgeAA1Wvmmll7aaUpyrEPacasblLRet0jf8le3AD_c2vpsSSJmtDyyVv2t7I9EHb-yqDAvvWik/?imgmax=800" width="224" height="282" /></a>Yesterday the Indian Express Eye carried an article on doulas. As I opened the page at first flush I was delighted to see my picture and a good one too… I am grateful to Praveen from IE for making me look normal… usually that’s a challenge. And the writer Nupur for bringing doulas to the forefront.</p> <p>Then I was even happier to see my friends in it .. Lina, I am grateful for you and how I can just call you in a second and share birth joys and sorrows… something no one else would understand. </p> <p>Then I read what the mamas had said about me and I am grateful to have a family that loves me … i am an only child and this is the goddess’s way to give me a large family.</p> <p>Somewhere in passing maybe I should be grateful to facebook and more so a crazy guy who convinced me last year to be on it…People who think I am a quack or don’t understand any of this thing I do but are proud of me and accept me anyways. So I am grateful for unconditional love.</p> <p>And most of all I am grateful for the sentiments that are in the hearts of all the lovely women who I have the honour to be with in birth and real life experiences that are precious.</p> <p>I am also grateful for all those wonderful people who drop out of no where and walk with me just when I need them…Janet Chawla calls them ‘birth friends’, I am grateful for my birth friends and mentors and guides. Wise women = Janet Chawla .. and some men… </p> <p>Especially ones who have heard me talk endlessly about birth stuff, patiently, not rolled their eyes (maybe inwardly) and agreed to keep on meeting and hearing.</p> <p>While reading words like angel and magic… I think its only right to share the recipe that makes it magic and me an angel. </p> <p>Many years ago, I read a paper on the dais. A line from that paper has always stayed with me and has been the philosophy of my work. </p> <p><strong>“Its the work of God … the hands are mine”</strong></p> <p>Birth in itself is magic… what else would define bring a new life on earth. To experience the full force of this magic we need the following ingredients</p> <p>Enthusiasm – not just the parents or family but all of us. A new life reinforces our potential to be there for ever and do more </p> <p>Mindfulness – not just to the growth of the baby in tangible terms… weeks, hands, size of the stomach but to the flowering of his being, and there by triggering the growth of a mother, a father, a brother or sister and many new relations.</p> <p>Faith – is probably the most precious of the gifts that we can give our selves and the baby. Faith in ourselves, in our child, in the people around us, in the love that surrounds us, in the care we get, in the intent of those who are with us, our abilities, our relationships and our own intent of bringing this new life. </p> <p>Please feel free to add any ingredients that you feel, flavour the birth work we do… Comment section is right below</p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-38141798544280876262010-03-31T12:56:00.001+05:302010-03-31T13:02:38.414+05:30The Middle Wife<p> </p> <p> </p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-4GcX26GG6R8Fhi0ef58xBQi-7z9JubhrwRgmgsEoBVfqzCqSVAS66fY4Pt0SGXom8tp-pqMj6tv1Tihe2xxxBJ6dM65hqc7ZUczowH2zrIE9v447HkQksDCXemkMy2xnNBLGbAikMOs/s1600-h/f-The-Middle-Wife-7172-th%5B10%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; margin-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="f-The-Middle-Wife-7172-th" border="0" alt="f-The-Middle-Wife-7172-th" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCfrjhhUHX0rAFmnEm6BU_0mFv-xVDIY5Dlo5l1wdsPe7ez3I_wJsKcAvhMzEzcelApBiW71XWRVqIKhqu0NbEaAOV3Vc9ocfF3qdxRJczyRTmRrARAGXADtDDQaClrAmBczKWDb2z4f4/?imgmax=800" width="183" height="183" /></a> </p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p>This story has found its way into my mail box so many times and each time I read it it brings joy to me… in a way only little children can. If only I could go back to that state of openness and awareness I can live in bliss for ever. </p> <p><strong>The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher <br /></strong>I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.</p> <p>When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.</p> <p><strong>Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.She holds up a snapshot of an infant.. </strong></p> <p align="center"><strong>'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'</strong></p> <strong></strong> <p> <br /><strong>'First,  Mom and Da</strong><strong>d made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my  Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.' She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.</strong></p> <p><strong>'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,Oh,Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)</strong></p> <p><strong>'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my  Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.) 'And then, pop!  My  Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)</strong></p> <p><strong>'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from  Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.' <br />Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. </strong></p> <p><strong>I'm sure I applauded the loudest.. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' Middle Wife' comes along.</strong></p> <p>Ever once in while this email pops into my inbox and I am determined to preserve it in my journal so that I can always be inspired by the simple and matter of fact way view of Birth</p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-24820272749691106492010-03-29T11:25:00.001+05:302010-03-29T11:26:21.237+05:30High Risk Love Making…<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjl1rjo0T_gh7Q7mM7VbHOnuf0P4tLkgRjMN053TeCY7sx9pSnTj9vbK1Vh3NTrH4JwOTJW80exM_-HCod1VaOjVwoGCH-iwANfErUZUwnKtKj4zE3ec7nuBU4wMgrBe_C70ncOjrO2WtQ/s1600-h/sexy%20nurse%5B6%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; margin-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="sexy%20nurse" border="0" alt="sexy%20nurse" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNDvOz5Of1_-vkARp5qtLsEAL3LcXAzD4knhJjPaeu1l2P-2-SxlZl55x2sRWK1HAg59FenhJv0VxF-a0E2yHb8eoGrTw9wUzHwGUf07HULSTRnwEb0kkqAq5IsE-DqFgnAVV3r9i1V_A/?imgmax=800" width="259" height="259" /></a> </p> <p align="center">"High-risk Lovemaking"</p> <p align="center"><i></i></p> <p align="center"><i>a mini-play</i></p> <p align="center">excerpted from Jock Doubleday's book</p> <p align="center"><i></i></p> <p align="center"><i></i></p> <p align="center"><i></i></p> <p align="center"><i></i></p> <p align="center"><i></i></p> <p align="center"><i>HUSBAND and WIFE passionately take off each other's clothes. WIFE reacts with alarm to HUSBAND's potbelly.</i></p> <p align="center">WIFE: How many French fries did you eat tonight?!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Oh, about 200 . . .</p> <p align="center">WIFE: How many have you eaten since childhood?</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Uh, I don't know.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: You could die of a heart attack at any time! You could die <i>tonight</i> while we're making high-aerobic love! And <i>I</i> could die from a broken rib, you're so heavy!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: I've gained a lot of weight since high school.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: I don't think a heart attack for you or a punctured lung for me sounds too good, do you?</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: No.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: I think our lovemaking has become <i>just too risky</i>, dear. I've been thinking . . .</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: You have?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Actually, no. I haven't been thinking. I've been talking with my friends. And my friends say that the best thing to do in a high-risk lovemaking situation is to go to the hospital.</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Huh?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: We're talking about <i>life-threatening love</i>, here, honey! Our home has become too <i>dangerous</i> for us safely to engage in our usual acrobatic sacred union. What better place than the hospital to make worry-free gymnastic love? </p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Uh . . .</p> <p align="center">WIFE: We'll pack our things, bundle ourselves in the car, and drive to the hospital! It'll be fun, like a camping trip! We'll rent one of those hygienic operating rooms for two or three hours. Professionals will be bustling about on errands of mercy, and you and I will descend into our animal selves. Are we a zebra? Are we a lion? Nurses to take care of our every need! "Have a glass of water" . . . "Have some anesthesia." I think it would be just plain <i>foolish</i> to suffer painful injury just because we didn't bite the financial bullet and hire the necessary technicians to stand guard over our chandelier-swinging copulations.</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Uh . . .</p> <p align="center">WIFE: And once we feel <i>truly safe</i> – as one always does in the hospital – we can plumb the deep depths of our sexual natures! We can push the envelope of the sexual experience in a way that's impossible for fearful home-bound lovers to do! We can create our own <i>Kama Sutra</i>! We'll call it <i>Calmly Sutured</i>! Wow, I just made that up! I'm a neologist as well as an ideologue! ha ha! I've always loved the feel of starched sheets on my bare bottom! Talk about primal! I'm getting excited just <i>thinking</i> about hospital love!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Honey?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Yes?</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Uh . . . </p> <p align="center">WIFE: Could you hurry up? Our sex lives are ticking away!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: The thing is . . . I don't know if I can make love with strangers watching.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: <i>Strangers!!</i> They're not <i>strangers</i>, dear, they're <i>professionals!</i> Anyway, if you can't<i> </i>get it up, we'll just have you induced.</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Induced?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Jody's husband gets shots. But you can have pills. Whatever. Any drug will do to get the "engine" running! Just stick your butt in the air or lie on your back and open your mouth, and five minutes later you're ready to roll! And if the drugs don't work, one of the surgeons can make a little cut in your penis . . . </p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Uh . . .</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Not a <i>big</i> cut, dear, just a little cut. A little cut to insert a state-of-the-art inflation device. Some quick stitches, pump you up, and you're ready to go! There are all <i>sorts</i> of things doctors can do these days to keep your pathological shyness from ruining our sex lives. It's the technological age!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: You know, honey, the more I think about it, the more the idea of making love in our own bed sounds pretty good. </p> <p align="center">WIFE: But we're <i>high risk</i>, darling! Can't you see? We shouldn't have to miss out on all that <i>safety</i> just because you want to make love in your comfy old bed! Why do you think lovemaking technology exists in the first place? So people can ignore it and have sex at home? We have to take advantage of our high-tech culture's arsenal of drugs, tools, and procedures for the betterment of the health of love! We have to be <i>modern!</i></p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: What if I get an infection from that "little cut"?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Don't worry about it!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Oh. Okay. But how risky <i>is</i> my potbelly, really?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: It's not just your <i>potbelly</i>, dear, it's the <i>whole gamut</i>! Anything can happen! We could fall off the bed and get concussions! We could die! There are all sorts of ways to see home-based love as high risk.</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Okay, well, let's say we did make love in the hospital. Do you think the staff would let us dim the lights?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Of course not! How would they know when to intervene if they couldn't see every inch of our flesh at all times? How would they know what tools to ready, what machines to switch on, what lotions to warm, if they couldn't witness every detail of our lovemaking sessions from every angle, acute and obtuse? Call me an exhibitionist, but I think you'll have to agree that it would be downright dangerous not to have the brightest possible fluorescent lights illuminating our deepest crevices and offering for public view our every conjugal entanglement. Do you remember that night when you hit me in the eye with your elbow?</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: I regret it to this day.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: It's just not <i>safe</i> to make the beast with two backs without some serious medical technology around! Even the <i>Bible</i> says sex is dangerous!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: It does?</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Phyllis said so. Anyway, if we're able to avoid the perils of high-risk lovemaking, we're not just helping <i>ourselves</i>, we're helping <i>others</i>. Think of our children! Where would they be if we got injured or died during one of our nightly <i>cucarachas</i>? Black eyes! Broken ribs! Cardiac arrests! In the hospital, if my heart stops during one of my myriad bone-cracking orgasms, the nurses can just jam one of those big needles into my chest! Don't you see? The hospital institution is our culture's answer to the phenomenal dangers of hot sex! They have ice packs and everything! I can honestly say that I look forward to atrial dysfunction, and its attendant loss of consciousness, so that I can be magically revived by cutting-edge technology!</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: Dear, I guess I just have to say that, after much thought, I'm not really ready for hospital lovemaking.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: Then we're never having sex again.</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: I'll pack my jockstrap.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: The sweaty one from high school? I adore it! I'll pack my cheerleading outfit! Remember that night?</p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: It burns in my mind.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: I truly admire your newfound devotion to copulatory technology, honey. You're a man of your age. </p> <p align="center">HUSBAND: You're my inspiration, darling.</p> <p align="center">WIFE: I can't <i>wait</i> to find out what the nurses think of your jockstrap! Now, let's get to the hospital and have some really hot, <i>really safe</i>, sex! </p> <p align="center">(The above mini-play is excerpted from the chapter, "You're not fooled by the term 'high risk,'" in Jock Doubleday's book, <i>Spontaneous Creation: 101 Reasons Not to Have Your Baby in a Hospital</i>, Vol. 1: <i>A Book about Natural Childbirth and the Birth of Wisdom and Power in Childbearing Women</i> <a href="http://www.SpontaneousCreation.org">www.SpontaneousCreation.org</a>)</p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-48676791487888805332010-03-29T00:02:00.002+05:302010-03-29T08:58:21.073+05:30Unborn Babies respond to Mothers Moods<p> </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOaYQ7NY71gWw3RYiQZdvPGwldkviZHzIua7gVqkH4M0R16hMebJqL-vbE2bvxwuGSefDJhLhN7qCGDni-N4kQiB2ERw9Gnbh-345xp6nqMFBK88NrIAIrp3ManBW8eabt97rAyZGra8Y/s1600-h/brain-and-fetus1%5B16%5D.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; DISPLAY: inline; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; MARGIN-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px" title="brain-and-fetus1" border="0" alt="brain-and-fetus1" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSLHMchZL_XnpMVqBVSHMMp2ORcuDJs6M36z00WtdFlZbzj4JUJV5f3-s0uI09GeEJhzWi99hXMZLnfOm0oQoxBckjeWhl_l_HapHcabj2LOnA-BRdMgn3p14V1kQUDtOkgSg5rwhWPus/?imgmax=800" width="259" height="203" /></a> </p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdk7x6uHOVxuycI8mpWpMaKHQEniODJCqDI-gBaihsEXpbU5dzVAdRCTrVpapIFP4RLln2WR_lr5cAVNFPJzO_4JmnmJBvNv5IEXX3VyCmnFiVFPiWf1fJMFaBC4KVPefTGmceFwLogEY/s1600-h/brain-and-fetus1%5B8%5D.jpg"></a></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdk7x6uHOVxuycI8mpWpMaKHQEniODJCqDI-gBaihsEXpbU5dzVAdRCTrVpapIFP4RLln2WR_lr5cAVNFPJzO_4JmnmJBvNv5IEXX3VyCmnFiVFPiWf1fJMFaBC4KVPefTGmceFwLogEY/s1600-h/brain-and-fetus1%5B8%5D.jpg"></a></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>A recent article in the Mail Online said </p><p><a href="http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1256990/Unborn-babies-respond-mothers-mood-watches-movie-scientists-say.html" target="_blank">Why pregnant film fans should stick to happy movies</a></p><p>Always remember the elder and older giving advice to the pregnant women … to be happy, read ‘good’ books, think ‘good’ thoughts … and now this article is also on the same lines…</p><p>There is enough evidence that says that babies are intrinsically linked to the mothers body, emotions and moods. Time and again there have been studies about how the baby grows not just in body but as a complete human being right from the moment of conception. Surprisingly very little attention is paid to that aspect of pregnancy. </p><p>Nature in its wisdom, gets mom to do a lot instinctively a lot of bonding work with the baby yet there is so much more that we miss out on with today's fast and furious life. </p><p>Yet another interesting finding about the baby’s brain having twice as much connections at birth as an adult… Finally we know that the babies are born smart and by the time they live through our world .. we manage to dumb them up.</p><p>And lastly, while we mindfully eat to grow the baby’s body, should we feed his soul with a little slice of awareness, higher consciousness, spirituality, faith or humanity.. whatever it is that is your thing.</p><p>And if you have stayed around to read right through this blog up to this point … jump right in…and send in your comments and suggestion </p><p><a title="http://birthindiatraining.com/lms/" href="http://birthindiatraining.com/lms/">http://birthindiatraining.com/lms/</a></p><p>Sign in as a guest and look around the Prenatal Bonding : Open Forum. </p><p>As always… happy reading.</p>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-20410570113468098832010-03-24T14:17:00.001+05:302010-03-24T14:17:18.856+05:30Delayed Cutting of Cord: Study<p> </p> <p align="left"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; margin-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="3fc6690640efb4daa11a9da78375" border="0" alt="3fc6690640efb4daa11a9da78375" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT0HPz3IIWeanIiwPchkyH3mTqWY3kppwo1Le3gHRzB9Au5rW7ozOq1zmS_uT7dc7w4r2gwMM2y7LsicG-U3yvcWnC_zChf07-uX5UzE1m7bipp2MrcFaJrhrW2X7j18yUlZxB1K9L3IA/?imgmax=800" width="142" height="107" /><a href="http://www.thestar.com/article/194281#article">Research on Delayed Cutting of cord</a> </p> <p>The Star.com<a href="http://www.thestar.com/article/194281#article"></a></a> carried an article on delayed cutting of cord. It begins wonderfully </p> <p>“A few more minutes of maternal attachment may give newborns months of significant health benefits, according to a new McMaster University study that urges doctors not to cut umbilical cords immediately after birth.” </p> <p>It lists all the benefits of this delay, it talks of the relevance of the study and there are these two things that catch my eye… </p> <p>"It's an intervention that has the potential to have a (positive) impact on a large number of babies and at a very low cost," Hutton said. "This benefits the baby without any real down sides for mom."</p> <p>It is an intervention..HUH ?!? let me get this straight -  the delaying of cutting of the cord is an intervention. With all due respect from where I stand the immediate cutting of the cord is the “INTERVENTION”. Its getting beyond absurd. The intervention to the intervention… or something like that. </p> <p align="center"><strong>So basically Hutton ( bless him ) is saying </strong></p> <p align="center"><strong>don’t rush in and cut the cord. </strong></p> <p align="left">I think I like that. Also the article concludes;  "It's one of those areas where parents can have probably quite a large influence in terms of changing practice."</p> <p align="left"><strong>Hmmmm  Interesting …</strong></p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-27307875026531983542010-03-12T09:22:00.001+05:302010-03-12T09:22:15.298+05:30Re Programming<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ygD8JMUfMTLd4raXwhrHNTbc_NgQ62J9DExfNlpcUI1Hgv4TBw4kad0XueoWFAzvMOtm9sUiI1ZWMckS0c87wrVpZ33FAAItyqWI6SczdSNZt3jkPOGf6oSKEVTgVDvHGwTQTHz5wSE/s1600-h/DSCN0174xxx%5B6%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAzB4wZPTqW5gaqONw8Y8btrN0ASsmNmrSa8ZtKH7yeFoaCUqDIA88obJzhm6BjIhkveSn-_RjgURS22CrTf8eakWlvk7B5yD4ILKSLiY6USr5B3I45ERlv8ziYsdnkzA2Fm9f74OvdT8/?imgmax=800" width="259" height="203" /></a> </p> <p> </p> <p>Spent an amazing four days at Elena <strong>Birthshop</strong> in Mumbai. Interestingly, there were 11 wonderful women there for all different reasons but really… were the right women at the at the right time… Something beyond this real/virtual realm is always at play. The workshop was about LIMBIC IMPRINTING.</p> <p><strong>The Limbic Imprint </strong></p> <p><strong>Why is it critical for us to understand the importance of healthy, happy gestation and birth? Why is it important to make every effort to eliminate the birth trauma from the delivery room? Is it affecting us? How? </strong></p> <p><strong>Well, it does affect us, in a very big way.The new baby, way before the birth day, during it and right after, is an extremely sensitive being, in fact, more sensitive than he or she will ever be during the adult life. And not only able to have all those sensations and feelings, but also to not-cognitively remember them! Our early impressions stay with us for the rest of our lives, for better or for worse. Twenty five years of thorough research and studies in the field of prenatal psychology show undoubtedly a direct correlation between the way we were born and the subconscious behavioral and emotional patterns in our adult lives. This is due to the mechanism called "limbic imprint". </strong></p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-58219869905923415192010-02-27T00:25:00.001+05:302010-02-27T00:30:15.933+05:30The Doula Effect<p> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy2iapJYNK4tM-WLC7q5MDc8DbOnk8xxIqmzkZuVfhEwZQ7RrTSXxhTY4TQc0f93ow-bY2UivJtlcJzd_E2VbaA0nrObti3_Bhu2GvQeQmfghjLYVXfZWGXjekYQGDAd0MGrxvoZllUXE/s1600-h/Image_517%5B1%5D.jpg"><img style="border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; margin-left: 0px; border-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; border-right: 0px" title="Image_517" border="0" alt="Image_517" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJTpXmFyYEi_7a1LAauvbnpqXsF4gCZKDLyY70JwdoLEVZFBgtf50dPGbyAdXIUQoFQWECVuU2nHue-IoXA5kzqXGT9SohhAU77eGlvEw8VLCQbYdsUjb7Y9MVk1Be6c-CLLP5zJZTaSE/?imgmax=800" width="243" height="196" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p><strong>If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it. <br />~ John H. Kennell</strong></p> <p> </p> <p align="left"><em>        3 men in Pronita’s Life</em></p> <p>It was one of those times where, what I called “the Doula Effect” happened. I was getting my things together after a Saturday evening class…( 16th of January 2010 ) when Pronita walked in, and just plopped herself in a chair. She was so ready to have her second baby. I was there for the birth of the first one. We got talking and she said she remembered that my being there had helped… so would I be there for this time. </p> <p>Did I want to be there .. absolutely. Foggy Delhi in January so all I wanted was a ride when ever she needed me. A week later, I got a message from the father to be that they had been in the hospital all night and that would it be ok for me to come…so car arrived and I got to the hospital at 7:30 am. The doctor had checked and she was 5 cm at 7:15am. </p> <p>Here she was lying in her bed saying ‘well even though its been a night where she could not sleep, but it was ok.’ Sometimes, when the mom is saying that.. In my head a voice is saying .. ok watch now…</p> <p>Sure enough as she sat on the chair just a little after 7:40am it was just as if she was waiting for me…there was a different speed in baby time. Within the next 20 minutes she was ready to bring this baby here. </p> <p>It felt as if she was waiting for me. And it feels amazing to think that. Wonderful birth, true knot in the cord, dad completely caught up and sure the mom did her thing… gave birth.</p> Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-63449301794347067252010-02-25T22:32:00.002+05:302010-02-25T22:45:02.099+05:30Celebration of Life<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtRvHErssYKKhgYRpswbO9GqH5umqTSMfavZroeI2ADhQzKOCR1yoADtEqUxcBus2YGnN7SPGvX1G8VEtE_EOMagGYdoq850j1TCfDsH6n5rPtpkN4kka4OOhfRYG-pc-Igc-XVPcDzjw/s1600-h/DSC_6031%5B17%5D.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; DISPLAY: inline; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; MARGIN-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px" title="Penny Simkin" border="0" alt="Penny Simkin" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDvMVgC9rwTlHDXvxJMtGFc9zwQej1_XelxeCUTUY1oK6f9gXrK0_PaK1Na7qdZC8D8kDt0Tsq0V1nkDlc2BlIt7YTDWtmom2inzeFrQT1uVrRUwp5VyK6UPItJz-Qx3MluP91Uwyf_6o/?imgmax=800" width="222" height="167" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgevAKPr5h4zIxs1AiHMIw_UZlsP6EHr1Xm6mitbxUlVrFsozVf7RMWhhvUBWI7ELcUNDBVHx6CSBJBtSMhRI7nJ0vftioWjpxIqQRIqXbzHQdEcdo3XvNuaJ4ocPaN6J59wg3s8M9HqFk/s1600-h/DSC_6070%5B9%5D.jpg"><img style="BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; DISPLAY: inline; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; MARGIN-LEFT: 0px; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px" title="Penny Simkin and Me" border="0" alt="Penny Simkin and Me" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgawupOSGRBxWmnMTr9Bhc4n-rfDis9Bmty2BOLKcbPj0oIGxvr5EPDcc2ZKxMCejD0ArT6le_CnGCPSEgbPNIFtGgVar-lrb_BkDhvoB8hnsYD6kATd9VbFXDBx5IeT9G7HYphsvGvdJ4/?imgmax=800" width="222" height="172" /></a> <p align="justify">A wonderful day organised by Chennai Birth Network on 21st November 2009. This was a day spent in the company of Penny Simkin and a lot many more wonderful women bringing their own brand of energy and passion for birth. </p><p align="justify">There is reason to celebrate each day of our lives …not just the good parts but just being alive and this fantastic ability to feel. Even when that feeling is PAIN.</p><p align="justify">Penny taught me something rather significant </p><p align="justify">We can feel pain without suffering and suffering without pain. Its something to reflect on as we move through life predefining how we will or are supposed to feel without actually pausing and clearing out this rubbish to make room for real real feelings.</p><p align="justify">and here is an interesting concept</p><p align="justify">To quote Frederick Wirth in his book Prenatal Parenting; </p><p>In <i>The Power of Myth, </i>Joseph Campbell states, “The one thing that is constant in all myths of the world is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation.” At our darkest moments of despair comes the light of understanding. The same thought is expressed in the poem <i>The Prophet, </i>where Kahlil Gibran states, “Pain is the bitter pill of the inner physician that cracks the shell of our understanding.” How can a seed grow into a flower unless the seed swells and dies? Learning new ways to live and love is associated with crises and pain that force us to let go of old behaviours and beliefs in order to pass over a threshold to new understanding. This is the quest story’s inner passage of growth that transcends all societies. </p><p>In Western society we seem to have lost our appreciation of darkness as a process for finding light, . . . </p><p>The word pregnant means having possibilities. . . </p><p>It is a significant period, rich in momentous possibilities for psychological and spiritual development. you must be willing to forgo old concepts to learn new. This can be painful, but like your unborn child you have the capacity to endure it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>So with nothing else to say for now except thinking Deepa Santosh, my birth friend from Chennai for inviting me to this day and sending me the lovely pictures … YAY!</p>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-71339756478375148392009-11-08T11:43:00.007+05:302009-11-08T12:24:05.359+05:30Men at BirthA leading newspaper ran a news article on how 'medical expert' warned men not to watch their wife give birth.<br />(<a href="http://www.hindustantimes.com/News-Feed/relationships/Don-t-watch-your-wife-give-birth/Article1-467179.aspx">http://www.hindustantimes.com/News-Feed/relationships/Don-t-watch-your-wife-give-birth/Article1-467179.aspx</a>) .<br /><br />This first came to my notice when an expectant mom, worriedly seeked advice on a birth network group. Here is my two cent worth<br /><br /><strong>Dr. Odent is am amazing man and well he may be right in many cases however, there are no experts in birth. The woman is the expert on what she needs in her birth. What she wants is support and if the father is in tune with Birth being an important and life changing event, and feels the need to be there for and be connected with the mother then he should be there. </strong><br /><strong>There is a distinct difference between men 'being' in labour rooms to see their baby being born (sometimes forced since its now expected of them to participate in labour) and 'being' there with their wife/partner for the birth of their baby. The key to Dr. Odent's comments lies in its subtle but extremely important distinction.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Perhaps Dr. Odent is talking about how the intrinsic nature of men and women are different, how they perceive and process the birth differently. Please note that Dr. Odent is a male OB and a pioneer in the field of primal birth movement. He is perhaps speaking in terms of the birthing space filled with woman energies. Its is traditional for women to support other women in labour...after all 'Birth is women Business'. </strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Having said that, as a doula I have seen husbands to be one of the most amazing support person. They are in those labour rooms holding, touching, encouraging, calming the moms. Sometimes they just sit they holding her hand, looking in her eyes.These father want to be there, the Birth of this baby is a significant event of their lives and the bonding created in the moments of raw vulnerability is also a milestone in their relationship. </strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>But please remember birth is hard work and so the support should be willing and voluntary. Also, birth is sensual in nature... the positions women take, the nakedness, the openness, the sounds they make, the movements of their bodies do challenge the norms of modesty. So once again its what couples believe is important, their acceptance of every aspect of birth is important. </strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>A lot will depend on what Birth means to the mother and the father. How they prepare, what their expectations are; not just from the process of birth but each other. What strength and pain means to each one of them. The key is communication, Birth is primal and so to prepare for birth on a emotional level, its good to "lay it bare" since that's exactly what birth will be in many ways. Each couple will find their own place in terms of participation and support and to generalise about human relationships especially the relationship of men and women is absurd. Since women want choices the same is true for men. Forcing them one way or the other would be the bigger problem. </strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>Women have the wisdom of birth. In that moment they move deep inside,many say they did not care who was there.. these are women whose birth spaces have been protected by supporting hands. While others are disappointed and have a long term sense of loss of lack of the same. To bring expectation of any kind into birth is like creating a precondition, practically make a boundary. That's the exact opposite of what birth needs. To know whether your husband should be there or not...Well that's something only the two of you can decide, just like every thing thats intimate, this should be a private matter. You can seek our view but let no one tell you what is right since only you both are the expert on your relationship, Communicate, explore, prepare and let go... And most of all, birth in love and faith. </strong><br /><strong><br /></strong>A few weeks later he was the opening statement on another leading newspapers article on childbirth. "<em><strong>prospective fathers should not attend the birth of their children as it makes labour more painful for the woman" </strong></em>(<a href="http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-5208079,prtpage-1.cms">http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/msid-5208079,prtpage-1.cms</a>).<br /><br />I have admired, read and evolved on Dr. Odent's theories, it was very hard to accept this at face value. For the sake of curiosity I search both the papers website with his name.<br /><strong>RESULT</strong>: Each time the above mentioed article was the only time they had ever quoted him.. I am thinking what about continous care, waterbirth amongst others.<br /><br />In my minds eye I remember Dr. Odent smiling, in the 70 or 80's film "Knowing the Unborn" , talking about how when moms are happy babies are happy. He has a mischievious smile as he says in his French accent "<em><strong>is there a recipie to be happy</strong></em>".<br /><br />Also want to include an article from Dr. Odent in Midwifery Today<br /><a href="http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/fatherpart.asp">http://www.midwiferytoday.com/articles/fatherpart.asp</a><br />this explores the question of men being present at birth. Some of the comments have been the basis of the Quotes in our newspaper articles but there is an entire context that they have failed to mention. Especially the part where he begins the article saying<br />"<strong><em>A century ago, when most babies were born at home, such a question would have been deemed irrelevant. At that time, everybody knew that childbirth is "women's business." The husband was given a practical task, such as spending hours boiling water, but he was not involved in the birth itself. </em></strong><br /><strong><em><br />Today, the same question is still deemed irrelevant, even stupid. At the dawn of the 21st century, everybody knows about the importance of the active role of the father in the "birth of a family" Most women cannot even imagine giving birth without the participation of their "partner." We have heard countless wonderful stories of "couples giving birth." Fathers are welcome in the most conventional delivery rooms." </em></strong><br /><strong><em><br /></em></strong>Interestingly in response to the worried inquiry on the birth network (birthindia yahoo groups) some one said that media was about sensationalising ... I have to AGREE<br /><br />In fact In August 1999 they had an entire issue on the presence and participation of fathers<br /><a href="http://www.midwiferytoday.com/magazine/issue51.asp">http://www.midwiferytoday.com/magazine/issue51.asp</a>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-71064362466551246162009-09-08T11:29:00.003+05:302009-09-08T11:34:02.829+05:30Seeing myself as Mother<strong><em>This one was hard... It took me a while to get going and I think it should be an ongoing assignment..</em></strong><br /><strong><em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqDYyK4gAl1dtjUufUosdRe6xPusUYA2kcp4OD4CdxTAlRR-WWG6eosbA_y3vdYnV4VlhuQfn39jEKLCch9j4ZJjEuh6omAjxD4N536Qdru07KzuhlYar1v6WxsAhPGVSyRMkFBtViNpw/s1600-h/memother.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378972886637197938" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 150px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqDYyK4gAl1dtjUufUosdRe6xPusUYA2kcp4OD4CdxTAlRR-WWG6eosbA_y3vdYnV4VlhuQfn39jEKLCch9j4ZJjEuh6omAjxD4N536Qdru07KzuhlYar1v6WxsAhPGVSyRMkFBtViNpw/s200/memother.jpg" border="0" /></a></em></strong><br /><span style="color:#006600;">Seeing Myself as a Mother</span><br />First off I feel that this should be an ongoing assignment for me. It reminded me of something I had forgotten in the recent times. When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was anxious about <span style="color:#333333;">being </span>the perfect mother. My grandmother, an uneducated but very wise woman said, whatever you need to know the baby will teach you, just keep listen to your child. I followed her advice for many years but with kids growing up and life moving on sometimes we forget the simplest things.<br />When I began this drawing I thought I knew what I felt and was most challenged in how to make the right picture. And the picture took over, something I have experienced before, but this time I did realise that it took over. So I kept drawing and ended with a lot of hats and lot of balls.<br />I see myself standing tall and strong on a see saw with a whole lot of hats and a lot of balls in the air trying to juggle. I have already understood the duality of life and haven’t looked for the idealistic thing for a long while. I see smile and tears together and it could either be tears of joy and it could just as well be a smile through my sorrow.<br />I know for sure that I have a dark side and many times my children have seen it. I learnt the lesson of unconditional love from them when they could love me through my darkness. I see light in me balancing the darkness.<br />I need to protect my children and hold them to me yet I need to set them free, to be the person they are. The picture tells me it’s a balancing act through and through.<br />The balls in the air are the different aspect of things I need to balance. Boundaries and freedom and where that line in between is is my constant challenge with a 13 year old boy and 10 year old girl.<br />I realise that as a mother I wear a lot of hats. I am the cook and driver; I am the teacher and the friend. I play many roles that my children need me to play. But the picture brings home my need to be my own person and not feel selfish or guilty. I want to be a smart attractive and intelligent woman in my own right with my own needs being fulfilled away and beyond being a mother. It challenges the giving image of the mother in my mind sometimes and brings about guilt. But left unfulfilled has always brought on the dark side of me. It’s only counterproductive to not nurture myself. So I am mother to myself as well.<br />I balance the children’s needs and my needs. That brings about another element of pull and push to the balancing act. In all I believe what my grandmother was saying is that if you stay open, you will be able to keep adjusting to keep the balance. For me being the mother is not one thing its many, it’s not constant but changing but it’s definitely about shifting ever so slightly to keep the balanceDivyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-80579776913646960622009-09-08T11:26:00.003+05:302009-09-08T11:29:44.878+05:30Stages of Labour<strong><em>After I made the first, cried and journaled, I could not stop myself and this is what came from my complusion to keep my hands moving on the paper. This time again I thought I had it right till I reflected on it. ... This so true of the doula work I do... I think it also shows my love for the water and all the water births and where they come from</em></strong><span style="color:#000099;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378971638519303474" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGHKYI8HJinc3UhBtgnF8xfxP4DnU4PuqUZWO59W_EWM22XWi1EjVfzKaU1YB-VBRMSrvFZ9gpJLPztw3K7h2-1jzGA6oB-e3IEqZzsP6GaqEQDFt9KBekUY0o4NEUAXOIl5n1RRw53S8/s200/stagesoflabor.jpg" border="0" />Journey through Labour Landscape</span><br />This drawing is completely influenced by my experiences as a doula, however, I did not need to think this part. Even though each woman goes through a unique labour and birth experiences there are certain commonalities that resonate through each labour including my own.<br />She sails out on calm seas, excited and just a little anxious about her journey, and as the ocean floor drops from under her and seas get rough... the little boat is rocked. She finds herself in unknown territory.<br />Soon enough her little boat is tossed and ripped and she sinks deeper. She spins through the vortex of intense feelings - physical and emotional. The physical manifestation of this play of feelings is seen as progress or not. At some time she hits rock bottom and only then can she begin her journey upward.<br />While the picture could represent the woman working her way through her labour sinking deeper into her instinctive self, moving with her body and supported by her nature as a woman and hormones. It could be just the opposite. She could start with a just a small fear, which would grow with each contraction, further as times passes. She may reach a point where it paralyses her and she faces extreme physical pain and helplessness. Her labour could be stalling or she may be facing trauma for herself or the baby and that’s her point of hitting the rock bottom and then having faced the worse she comes back.<br />What came as a surprise is the part where it says keep going. I found that I drew this little energy symbol within her and as she moved in time and body, she also moves the energy within. Whether this energy uncoils in sync with her body or against it is the play of her feelings. Faith or fear? As she hits rock bottom, she lets go of all plans and ideal birth scenes and if she does tap into the other positive energies around her she can move beyond the mode and modality of how she gave birth and actually birth the baby.<br />It helps me understand how I connect with the women I support and how she can mirror my positivity but most of all despite all the information why I feel the helplessness and desperation when she isn’t able to work through her issues blocking her birth and my energy begins to move with her in the negative direction. It has given me a new sensitivity to why some births are mentally harder on me than others, irrespective of how the woman has given birth.<br /><div></div>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-24063185494362958252009-09-08T11:21:00.002+05:302009-09-08T11:25:52.326+05:30Womb with a View<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ0mpo4RElELEO1sJvloid3OfDM0JvwDN9Mo5NNiRM53ITpZt5G0hunblpxyUVooTWUNo0qfu94BVIuddAjicS5FdyA_uYxZfvMawhuNWL1O0craB-yv4nLCUe40k_7koWrP_rl0ppAcQ/s1600-h/wombview.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5378970689024542178" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ0mpo4RElELEO1sJvloid3OfDM0JvwDN9Mo5NNiRM53ITpZt5G0hunblpxyUVooTWUNo0qfu94BVIuddAjicS5FdyA_uYxZfvMawhuNWL1O0craB-yv4nLCUe40k_7koWrP_rl0ppAcQ/s200/wombview.jpg" border="0" /></a><strong><em>My very first attempt, begun with an attitude of "I know about that" completely swept me off my feet and before I could even journal a word I cried, humbled...</em></strong><br /><br /><br /><span style="color:#cc0000;">Womb with A View: World Within</span><br />As I look at the drawing now, I am surprised by what I feel. The feeling I get when I see this drawing brings back a old memory of my grandfather talking about a scene from Gita. As Arjun looks upon the magnificent persona of Krishna he can see the entire universe within him. The womb is the baby's entire universe.<br />I see that I have put in the four elements to nurture life...sun, earth water and love. I see the curiosity in the eyes of this little human being and the potential of holding the world in the palm of his hand.<br />When I began I thought I could draw upon all the information I had about baby's uterine life but as I went along. Only a few elements stayed while many other came up all by themselves.<br />The colour and form within the womb is more distinct and bright and sharp than outside, which as I blended when asked the drawing what it needed. Also, the way showed the different parts of the baby rather than the baby... that confused me.<br />Now I see that the baby's entire world is the womb. While we on the outside may dwell upon how he feels, the baby is in state of bliss. He is nurtured by the life force of the world and the love of his mother. The two balance the way he becomes aware of his world. Fluidity of his home allows him to defy the pull of gravity, takes the weight of him and pliable yet firm boundaries allow him the space to discover light, sound, feel and other wonderful sensations that will make his world outside.<br />The baby depicted in part no longer confuses me. I think none of us have yet discovered ourselves in whole. We grow in different ways and change constantly. We do not need to know the baby ‘fully’; we just need to accept that there is potential beyond our knowing and love.<br />I have sat and stared at the picture each day, many times a day. I feel that the baby there is not restricted by the space, he is not uncomfortable. In fact, he is in a state of bliss. (I used this world before and it feels that way even more now). Hidden from eyes that can only understand things they can label and put away in neat box, he is free to be anything he wants and do the impossible without feeling even a shred of hesitation. In the outside world we would be afraid of such a feeling.<br />While we on the outside feel his lack of space, his limited stimuli to the senses as a negative, is that not what we wish to achieve when we meditate, to shut down the outside world and move inwards.<br />I thought I had finished with this section till I saw the picture I had done for Womb with a View. As I was resizing and uploading the picture it struck me that in a glance it seemed I was looking at the swollen belly and the birth opening of the world right between the legs. Not unlike how it looks when birth happens. Just had to add that impression to this journalDivyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-76871061030272713922009-08-21T10:29:00.010+05:302009-08-21T10:48:57.125+05:30Bio Hazard<div><div><div><div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372281551523442210" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 145px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih3DqNzA-W8-mmcbzaxx0lY9hvEprWQvLrEnjcGPSUT8gKFG1VaiuYstUpxEYdnrGTcHlp8I7sQ4LwrDj39DgD6WIcGChpaFh4ctR8zJrbXmTv7NSyHr-9SbegOALH2w-is27GIxBj3Qc/s200/biohaz1.jpg" border="0" /><br /><div><div></div>As we drove on the<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD2RqBoiQESMTsFfzVtGPX1xh0zk-sE_ExZspIPnpQHuPKfMobXjxbWQ4qYGO1exrTW3tsTd4O7a5sO8JYQBnYBC47vO3-LcxyaGOb7fGQmF9DzYsG3CyQfkzGjJNF9UB_7Zxz85egmDs/s1600-h/P8160323.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372278758157847410" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhD2RqBoiQESMTsFfzVtGPX1xh0zk-sE_ExZspIPnpQHuPKfMobXjxbWQ4qYGO1exrTW3tsTd4O7a5sO8JYQBnYBC47vO3-LcxyaGOb7fGQmF9DzYsG3CyQfkzGjJNF9UB_7Zxz85egmDs/s200/P8160323.JPG" border="0" /></a> roads of Delhi, in the rain ( thats when interesting things happen), we spotted a blur of Yellow. It was mutually decided to check out this blur ...we tried all kinds of angles and ways to photograph .. but the label eluded us. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFOgLqFw4z5aZ0O5PNx3Z8__kejgzB6jj2Dash65XWgHHI_VDxzxBFidzlFHrdPfCqT786pF_Q0BeD72ZYbmrDrZbPR696szqvTHyiA6fIi8TupQsig5hizMfEWTt8mzYH5AWoq6mGmi0/s1600-h/P8160325.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372281211856804370" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFOgLqFw4z5aZ0O5PNx3Z8__kejgzB6jj2Dash65XWgHHI_VDxzxBFidzlFHrdPfCqT786pF_Q0BeD72ZYbmrDrZbPR696szqvTHyiA6fIi8TupQsig5hizMfEWTt8mzYH5AWoq6mGmi0/s200/P8160325.JPG" border="0" /></a></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>Lets say , that day we were a determined trio Sarah, Caitlin and me... we had to get to the bottom of this blur.. so many more shots and speeds .. and a bit of chase later we figured out what we were looking at ..</div></div></div></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2tPL5BjM4ywrdC2AacBk-SVVUQGJt6c-jWPpukPit_1z2ym_dohoIVdFrixdh7NiZ__B_t02nezhAFST3UeQRQwh5wkEKTOUkSm8hpQ9NzWvHcGPBOGA4_UWAGSk8hGB9yxrla8RfV6c/s1600-h/bio1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372281851039209346" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 50px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 64px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2tPL5BjM4ywrdC2AacBk-SVVUQGJt6c-jWPpukPit_1z2ym_dohoIVdFrixdh7NiZ__B_t02nezhAFST3UeQRQwh5wkEKTOUkSm8hpQ9NzWvHcGPBOGA4_UWAGSk8hGB9yxrla8RfV6c/s200/bio1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>And now we feel we need to spread the word... You are looking at a BIO HAZARD material. Ladies please be careful of this strain of BIOHAZ till more information is recieved and research is known...</div><div>Caitlin , Sarah,... thank you for one the funniest rides. Miss you guys.. Divya</div></div></div>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-43613968582257684222009-08-14T20:23:00.008+05:302009-08-14T20:54:49.686+05:30Divine - Coincidence<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLeQ2_1zyZI8WvAM_5MwI6CH6R96X5T4g29W7n_ebT9f-zdJqLA0EMMvT0DpUElQ5SdYsSzvmQ3ZnQPoIfiNxOAgQocE21sM7mt0NSs3X0Rzt6KUsYKjDlF96oHzLAl6Q6FcS0ZeHnhqE/s1600-h/hbarunima1.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369837614922175954" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLeQ2_1zyZI8WvAM_5MwI6CH6R96X5T4g29W7n_ebT9f-zdJqLA0EMMvT0DpUElQ5SdYsSzvmQ3ZnQPoIfiNxOAgQocE21sM7mt0NSs3X0Rzt6KUsYKjDlF96oHzLAl6Q6FcS0ZeHnhqE/s200/hbarunima1.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>This one one of the most amazing birth I have had recently. Right before I was going to be a part of the HypnoBirthing Practitioner's training workshop, this birth was like a sign from above that I was onto the right path. Early morning, the dad called and told me that the mom was begining to feel something but she was comfortable. She had listened to rainbow relaxation during the course of the morning. As I went through my day, she was in my thoughts. At 1:45 pm, when I spoke to the dad, she had just finished lunch and was palnning to rest for a bit before going to the hospital. All this while she was completely in touch with her feelings.<br /><div><div></div><div>As they reach the hospital a little before 4, she was 80% effaced and about 4 cm dilated. We had talked about coming back home if was early, however, she decided to stay.<br /></div><div>At 5:30 pm, she wanted to be in water. I got going to the hospital and she took a shower. When I saw her at 6 pm, she was deep inside herself. Sitting on the bed, working with her surges.<br /></div><div>At 6:30 pm she was ready to birth the baby and the baby was in her arms at 7:10 pm. </div><div>While she was keen on water birth, she did not restrict her self to planning it one way. I think she went with it... right till the end. </div><div>Later she told me that she knew all along where she was in her body and in her mind. She also told me that in the part where we ask them to ask their baby how long their birthing would be... the baby had said 2 and a half hours. Not very long after birth I caught this picture of the baby gazing at his absolutely delighted mom</div><div></div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369837015574924786" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ18InVevmyPLdMrUeQ70lpDPJsdA8WPLkNJZPULIJnHtQOA_Ayl5sBt8Gi_COpS3-i2y2xsXcBdceI6WUsJGPJEWFEh3wW-OYbGLhYxtuOv7nIM88n49_eprxdcVYW7nvHDGk_owfdvE/s200/hbarunima.JPG" border="0" /><br /><div></div><div></div><div>Here is Arunima sharing her<a href="http://360degrees-arunima.blogspot.com/"> birth story</a></div></div></div>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-52152972975900305142009-07-31T19:50:00.004+05:302009-08-14T20:55:28.781+05:30Creating the Wonderful World in the WombThree different news articles, inspiring us to think about how our babies are feeling while we are growing them not just from our flesh and bones but also our thoughts and feelings. Babies get a feel of the world around us right in the womb, their input medium is not different than ours. they are after all human babies and therefore have capacity to grow, feel and sense in ways no different than us. Knowing this does it not become important that we live in awareness mind body and spirit to what they are reciving. After all we are setting an imprint of the world and their ability to deal with it in these hidden moments.<br /><br />Inner Voice - Peace through womb<br />Mary Joseph<br />Have you ever thought where do these abstract nouns `peace' and `love' originate from? I believe that human beings experience the manifested form of peace and love right in the womb and from the first touch of mother...Because the womb is a replica of the world outside, just as an atom is the replica of the universe. ( read the complete article on HT dated 31st July 2009 Pg 15 or online on the e paper)<br />The Earliest Fetal Memory?<br />Dutch Doctors Say the Unborn may Have Memories by the 30th Week of Pregnancy<br /><a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=8083181">http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/story?id=8083181</a><br />Study: Babies Form Memories in the Womb [FOX News]<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Cqcgr8mtvU">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Cqcgr8mtvU</a>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-66199548105404078292009-06-10T10:14:00.005+05:302009-08-14T20:56:02.495+05:30A lunch party<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggFn0aYQqK8IhLr4wtR00Z9mPLzSJjccbGShROvuNm0j16kA-SG11_yMULNi-P_x4swIsnIwJruTFxFMxrKJ2tliP8Z4rpWbMIj8SY1N06a7OIQ0-SMKCcS824ijCFiiXuuzrxUNBlUHc/s1600-h/GetAttachment.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345556310582040722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 134px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggFn0aYQqK8IhLr4wtR00Z9mPLzSJjccbGShROvuNm0j16kA-SG11_yMULNi-P_x4swIsnIwJruTFxFMxrKJ2tliP8Z4rpWbMIj8SY1N06a7OIQ0-SMKCcS824ijCFiiXuuzrxUNBlUHc/s200/GetAttachment.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><strong>A Birthday Celebration;</strong> </div><br /><div>Wish to share the birthday lunch party at the Pheonix Hospital for Jairo, Tanja & Andreas. It wonderful to see Dad and Mum share lunch while the hour old baby also enjoys his lunch/comfort snack. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqkkmBM6g7j6jEexgr4sZz1Vqya1Scmo8nMoJIK9K65m9CSIN_kuaK2n_mLlUN4RNyeBYiyCxPBgnBgyUILniesvUnzNIOlOYGF038Wu_yi7tox2JAFAanPAblm9eHr9yoGlcYBjOa1Y0/s1600-h/GetAttachment2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345556989363636482" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 134px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 200px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqkkmBM6g7j6jEexgr4sZz1Vqya1Scmo8nMoJIK9K65m9CSIN_kuaK2n_mLlUN4RNyeBYiyCxPBgnBgyUILniesvUnzNIOlOYGF038Wu_yi7tox2JAFAanPAblm9eHr9yoGlcYBjOa1Y0/s200/GetAttachment2.jpg" border="0" /></a></div><br /><br /><div>Do babies understand the world around them ...</div><div>They are absorbing everything, picking up clues about their world, learning at a tremendous pace, all enconsed peacefully in the arms of those who care for them. Baby Jario Navin in a moment of knowing with his doula Divya.</div><div></div><div>Gentle birth in awareness is a wonderful gift of faith to the baby.</div>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-28176415168325025942009-05-17T09:21:00.004+05:302009-05-17T09:42:27.034+05:30Another kind of birth<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib6lYR4vMCS87zaAF2I3YlIJwBDcz5MPcyMzRKanwr3NGznpFadIuB5MKoWcj_4uv0mNVdXuMMiGwG1qvdi7BDPTKkvha4tlrBR6wi-Fpq-MXDtYX6kshJjKs3wOgaDgBN_wadCZbjp18/s1600-h/Aadi1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5336639030506608418" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib6lYR4vMCS87zaAF2I3YlIJwBDcz5MPcyMzRKanwr3NGznpFadIuB5MKoWcj_4uv0mNVdXuMMiGwG1qvdi7BDPTKkvha4tlrBR6wi-Fpq-MXDtYX6kshJjKs3wOgaDgBN_wadCZbjp18/s200/Aadi1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><em>I share with you a letter from a wonderful mom, recovering from her birth, I wish to salute her for understanding what she went through and coming up stronger and wiser</em>. <div></div><br /><div>Dearest Sarojini and Divya,</div><br /><div>Hi! How are you? No, I have not forgotten you. I have not been able to sneak a moment to call or write to you. Also, my experience of the birthing was not exactly happy and I wish to forget it as a bad dream. hence I didn't want to talk about it. Here I am writing to both of you as I want to tell you the same things.</div><div>First of all, thank you so so much for your immense support. It was a blessing to have you by my side. I got so stressed in my last few days of pregnancy that your words gave me strength to keep me going. Truly, it was a very trying time for me.</div><div>As I said that I want to put the birthing experience behind me. So, in a nut shell, we waited till the last day of 42nd week with 24 hrs of release of membrane and surges happening in an erratic fashion. And the doctor said that the head hadn't engaged and I had opened 2cm in 24 hrs. She also felt the labour was a false one. So on the last day of 42nd week in the afternoon it was decided to go for caesarian. Seriously, I didn't know what it meant. Both Pram and I were emotionally drained. I opted to have an epidural so that I could see my baby come out, but when the cathedar was inserted I lost it and had no courage to go through it. So I opted for general anesthesia. And for 45 minutes I was knocked out. When i opened my eyes I saw my son next to me in the doctor's arms.I fed him. And then I realised the excruciating pain I was in. The next 3 days were traumatic. I was totally clueless what the post-surgery time is like. Two people were helping me all the time to get up and lye down, walk and go to the bathroom. My world had pretty much collapsed. I had a lovely pregnancy and I enjoyed being pregnant. The birthing experience shattered me. And disappointed me. For the first few days I kept wondering if I had actually given "birth". I was struggling with the thouught that I am my baby's mother and that I have given "birth" to him. That was painful, too.</div><div><strong>Though I want to put the above behind me and forget about it, I have definitely learnt a lot of lessons from it. Couldn't help speculating.. One, I had looked down upon c-section and doctors who opted for it. Two, I had taken on everything in my hands regarding the natural and divine process of birthing, not leaving things to God and nature. Third, during my pregnancy I kept running away from lot of "negativity" and negative people in turn I had become very negative. My karma gave me what I went through. Fourth, be prepared for the worst also.</strong></div><div>I am fine now pain wise. My body is very shapeless right now. Apparently, my stomach had become so large that my uterus and the birth path were not aligned. God knows! </div><div>My son is wonderful. A real darling. Very understanding, I'd say. Just wants his feed and sleeps/plays. He is 5 weeks now. We have named him Aadi. Meaning the beginning, first one, endless, important.. He is my world now and am with him round the clock. So, it is very difficult to make calls now, even take a bath or go for a long nature's call!.. As I am writing to you Param is putting him off to sleep. My mom was here to help for the first 4 weeks. Now it just three of us. Sending a three of his photographs.</div><div>That's it for now. Shall call sometime. Please do let me know when you're visiting bangalore. Would love to meet you.</div><div>Again, can not thank you enough for your unconditional support. I am greatful and honoured to have your support.</div><div>LoveShruti</div>Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3608116216859885384.post-12041268528550343672009-05-05T18:40:00.009+05:302009-08-14T20:56:58.268+05:30Staying In Charge"Maybe if we whack you on the head and render you unconscious, you may labour easily and birth quickly" I said this jokingly to a labouring mom from my childbirth class. She had been in 'labour' for more than 24 hours, leaking periodically, having contractions that were rhythmic and yet technically completely closed. She had done classes and prepared herself with information and skills to have a good birth experience. She understood everything that was going on with her. Oh yes! I did say she was prepared.<br />Just as pain in birth is subjective, so is childbirth preparation. All that information and practice, question - answers and support. Yet many a times well prepared moms' have slow long labours for no apparent reason at all. Days of 'labouring', contractions, pain, interventions and assistance, exhaustion and then ending up with C section for Faliure To Progress. What is it that makes some cervix open up more easily than others?<br />A recent birth I supported was going in the scary but much often tread road... long hard labour and extremely slow progress.<br />Day one began with leaking and contractions... mom did relaxation and breathing and when she felt that now it was strong to pull her out of the relaxed state, she went to the hospital. Doctor took a look and sent her back home.<br />Day two, contraction continued and she was back again. When I met her late Sunday morning and we talked about the virtue of relaxation and being patient. She hadn't even begun to efface. The doctor wanted to send her back yet again, but she was now throwing up. Sunday night, 48 hours after leaking began, she agreed to be augmented. The contractions moved from good to pretty good. All day she had used warm showers to relax and she really wanted to sink in a tub of warm water. We decided to do so, not just for the comfort but also she because she had her heart set on it. Warm water helped her... physically and mentally for a while and in a few hours she was anxious and needed affirmation that things were progressing. So another internal check told us that she was fully effaced. This was at 4 am. We all reinforced the fact that this was good... it was great progress. That buoyed her spirit for a bit but in the next four hours... she was at that 'time vs. progress' anxious phase again.<br />She had begun to bear down at the peak of her contractions by now. 8 am another check told us she was 4 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">cms</span>. I thought she was doing great, but she did not think so. There was a bag of waters intact over the baby's head, despite the leaking. The anxiety moved to desperation...by 9 am she was talking of C section. I talked to her, and she listened and nodded her head while I counted of all the reasons that said she was doing well... but as the next contraction came she was back to C section. At 9:30 she was still 4 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">cms</span>. She was now sure she did not want to go on... It was probably hard for her husband to say what he wanted. He was not the one in labour, so he said the only thing he could. He would support her in whatever she wanted.<br />It was really difficult for me, since I knew she could do this. I just knew, but it was not about my gut feeling... it was about what she was feeling in and out of the labour. This was not the time or the place to convince her otherwise. However, after a small discussion between contractions she chose to go with an epidural. She looked at me, and I smiled and said I would support her through it.<br />Just as the epidural kicked in she fell asleep and so much so that I had to check if the doctor had given her sedatives.. but no. An hour later, she woke up, she was able to feel some rectal pressure and another check told us that she was 6 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cms</span>. She was pain free, she had a sense of the contractions with the rectal pressure and she still was breathing through the contractions. Her eyes checked the clock often and I could feel the mind turn numbers round. Every now and then she would say why her body was not working or why the baby was not coming. The rectal pressure increased and she began to bear down. The baby's heart tones sounded slow and a fetal monitor was put on. The heart rates kept falling and at one point it dropped sharply and stayed low. It was 2 pm now and as the doctor checked she was still at 6 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">cms</span>. As the heart rate slipped to 75 <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">bpm</span> there was a buzz about C section. This was goint to be another of those FTP.<br />The OT was prepared and the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">anesthesiologist</span> was called.<br />In the last 5 years, I have seen this happen far too many times. The next contraction, I told her to pant and not bear down even when the pressure was there... the heart rate stayed steady. And then another contraction, and then another. I ran down to the doctors' office and asked her if we could get an hour.... one hour. She said yes, BUT, the heart rate should not go any lower than 110.<br />Back in the room I looked at this mom in the eye, raised my voice from soft suggestion to firm instruction, I told her to forget the clock, the monitor and the pressure and every contraction she would follow my breathing. One hour, she and I, alone in that room... I talked, she listened, and we blew and panted through every single contraction. The doctor would come in periodically and check the fetal heart rate monitor. her husband came in and slipped out quietly. Her mom sitting outside knew that this was going to surgery. One hour, I led and she followed and the beeping monitor was reassuring and we heard strong beat of the baby's heart. Past 3 pm, after the 'hour' was up, the doctor checked again, she was fully dilated. A beautiful baby boy was born at 3:59pm.<br />She was one of my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Hypnobirthing</span> mom... what worked for us that last hour was that we had done relaxation many times in class. She responded to my voice by sinking into a trance like zone. At one point i think I dozed off as well....So I did not whack her.. but close enough.<br />Some important things<br />Each time she was mentally relaxed... getting into the pool, first sign of progress, sleeping after the epidural and finally relaxation with my instructions.. she progressed<br />What does childbirth preparation really mean.. infomation?!? Does all that information make it any more easier for us to face labour? Or is there something else too... What is it that allows us to let go, give up our need to be control, to sink deeper to a subconsious level that actually believes in birth...trust, faith support.<br />Talking of support... motivating her, leading her, pushing her... sometimes all three. and sometimes the 'whack on the head'.Divyahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16736636817988470472noreply@blogger.com1