(Mom, Dad, baby and Me, 7hours after birth. Around 4 pm, 12th March 2009A few hours later .. Dad and me look tired after the night's effort but the real "expert" looks glorious)
The drama around this birth was phenomenal. To begin with the mom got a cervical stitch, progesterone and bed rest.Once she was deemed to be fit to move..she came for my class. She was enthusiastic about birth and was exploring her own feelings about natural birth. My story begins when she was at 36/37 weeks.
There was uncertainty about the due date with LMP, length of the cycle and first trimester ultrasound. At this time her ultrasonologist (expert!) said that the baby was not growing well and was lagging by 3 weeks... also that there were two loops of the cord around the neck. At first, the loops were a total non issue. The low weight kept her worrying ... She lived in fear for the baby's well being.
A week later there was another ultrasound. The baby had put on adequate weight but now the loops had become really tight. It was presented as if that there was danger to the baby. She was suggested restricted movement and bedrest so that it may not cause any kind of harm to the baby. She went for a non stress test twice a day. Just to make sure that the baby was still ok. The two loops, it was serious since the loops were really tight. It was the experts opinion that there was no way this could change since there is no room for much movement for the baby. The course of action suggested was to some how get through the next few days so that it would become officially 38 weeks. Infact, the expert opinion was that much can malfunction after 38 weeks so its a good idea to have them (the baby) out about that time for most women.
She was hysterical would be an understatement. When I met her (to hold her hand as she went for a second opinion) it seemed that her baby was in a ICU unit. She visited and checked on her well being twice a day at scheduled half hour (NST). She was trying to get through each day safely to reach 38 week when it would be ok to get the baby out.
I looked for the wise women in my life ( fellow CBE, doulas, midwives) for inspiration, and it was wonderful to see how many took time out to respond and while there were varied opinions ...
We went for a second opinion and the baby was in danger zone was clearly ruled out.
I thought hard about how I could best support her. I posted a gist of what happened on my wise women forum as below
Hi Everyone,
As always there are many aspects to this particular situation. here are facts as I heard them today...
There is a mismatch between the EDD with first trimester ultra sound and LMP. There was always a mismatch between the age of the baby and the EDD (ultrasound)
The fluid is fine
The placenta looks good
the blood flow to the baby is just fine.
She for the past two days has been paranoid about the baby choking to death with the cord around the neck. her concern wasnt really about the c sec or birth or scheduling the C sec... here it is about safty of her baby. She wants to hear the heart rate every half hour now and would panic if she didnt feel any movement for half hour.
Firstly, we asked the doctor if the baby was under any threat right away
(her first concern was the baby is in crisis)
After the doctor reviewed her records and ultrasounds and a physical exam...(not internal) reassured her that with adequate amniotic fluid the baby and cord were able to move around and that even with two cords he was not going to choke. She said it was important that she relax and not be paranoid.
Secondly, the doctor said that since each doctor had their own way of setting protocols, while she would be willing to wait and watch , her doctor may feel that it needs more take charge appoach. However, it would be helpful for all of them if she would speak to her doctor openly how much this was scaring her. Also, she suggested that maybe she could negociate more time with her own doctor by agreeing to monitoring, and seeing that the baby was putting on weight now or what ever the doc was comfortable with.
While she assured her that the baby was in no immediate danger, the doctor encouraged her to speak openly with her doctor as well. At no point did the mom or the dad suggest change of care and neither did the doctor.
I knew at that point changing her ob was not an option they were looking at. For many reasons that are best known to her... she was going to be with the same doctor.
Hi Everyone,
As always there are many aspects to this particular situation. here are facts as I heard them today...
There is a mismatch between the EDD with first trimester ultra sound and LMP. There was always a mismatch between the age of the baby and the EDD (ultrasound)
The fluid is fine
The placenta looks good
the blood flow to the baby is just fine.
She for the past two days has been paranoid about the baby choking to death with the cord around the neck. her concern wasnt really about the c sec or birth or scheduling the C sec... here it is about safty of her baby. She wants to hear the heart rate every half hour now and would panic if she didnt feel any movement for half hour.
Firstly, we asked the doctor if the baby was under any threat right away
(her first concern was the baby is in crisis)
After the doctor reviewed her records and ultrasounds and a physical exam...(not internal) reassured her that with adequate amniotic fluid the baby and cord were able to move around and that even with two cords he was not going to choke. She said it was important that she relax and not be paranoid.
Secondly, the doctor said that since each doctor had their own way of setting protocols, while she would be willing to wait and watch , her doctor may feel that it needs more take charge appoach. However, it would be helpful for all of them if she would speak to her doctor openly how much this was scaring her. Also, she suggested that maybe she could negociate more time with her own doctor by agreeing to monitoring, and seeing that the baby was putting on weight now or what ever the doc was comfortable with.
While she assured her that the baby was in no immediate danger, the doctor encouraged her to speak openly with her doctor as well. At no point did the mom or the dad suggest change of care and neither did the doctor.
I knew at that point changing her ob was not an option they were looking at. For many reasons that are best known to her... she was going to be with the same doctor.
Then what did this second opinion mean here... reassurance and answers to questions that her own doctor did not give
Changing her doctor was agood choice but it had to be her choice, but it was redundant as a choice here. And she needs support, how can i support her here? that was my bigger dilemma.
I spent last night thinking...
I reinforced that each doctor had their own way of working and it would be unfair to say right or wrong at this time to one or the other, therefore she should discuss it with her husband and then choose. What i gathered was that she had just been through an argument with her extended family about this.
More than making it perfect, it was important to make it right for her. So I suggestd that even though nothing may come of her talk with her doctor and negociation for time, She still had a few days to show her baby that a good world awaited him. I think it was important for her get connected with her baby and reassure him that while all this is going around him, she is still excited about his birth and that no matter how and when it took place, mom is going to be there for him. She was crying and said that it has been over a week that she hadnt thought of her baby as a healthy person, she felt he had been in a ICU unit while she was worrying about his well being. So she and her husband are going to try and spend a lot of time together.. uptil 4th. Also, they intend to speak to the doctor in terms of all other aspects being healthy, and baby growing, and monitoring maybe they can negociate for more time. And even if they dont manage to change that, they are focusing on the birth of their baby.
It has been a difficult day... and while it may not be the perfect solution, it may be the right one for her in this case.
Thank you everyone for yor input and support.
Love
Divya
The Sunday before the scheduled C section she did come to my childbirth class... It was the session on labour and birth. She sat through it, albeit distractd. After the class we talked about how we could negociate for more time. While I am not a big fan of ultrasounds... we thought if the next one showed that baby was putting on weight then perhaps we could buy some time.
However, she got admitted to the hospital for the surgery, for some reason she insisted on another ultrasound. "No need since the space is tight, cord loops are tight its rather impossible for status to change".. yet she insisted. Lo beold! no loops or loop any more. At some point I had said that baby inside was a living miracle and we should never underestimated his potential for achievement... So I was the first to get the call that said... "we had checked in the hospital for a C sec but with loops gone .. i have checked myself out"
Aparently the ultrasound expert felt that was a waste of effort since her structure (size, height, hips what ???) was such that she would invariably have a C section.
Changing her doctor was agood choice but it had to be her choice, but it was redundant as a choice here. And she needs support, how can i support her here? that was my bigger dilemma.
I spent last night thinking...
I reinforced that each doctor had their own way of working and it would be unfair to say right or wrong at this time to one or the other, therefore she should discuss it with her husband and then choose. What i gathered was that she had just been through an argument with her extended family about this.
More than making it perfect, it was important to make it right for her. So I suggestd that even though nothing may come of her talk with her doctor and negociation for time, She still had a few days to show her baby that a good world awaited him. I think it was important for her get connected with her baby and reassure him that while all this is going around him, she is still excited about his birth and that no matter how and when it took place, mom is going to be there for him. She was crying and said that it has been over a week that she hadnt thought of her baby as a healthy person, she felt he had been in a ICU unit while she was worrying about his well being. So she and her husband are going to try and spend a lot of time together.. uptil 4th. Also, they intend to speak to the doctor in terms of all other aspects being healthy, and baby growing, and monitoring maybe they can negociate for more time. And even if they dont manage to change that, they are focusing on the birth of their baby.
It has been a difficult day... and while it may not be the perfect solution, it may be the right one for her in this case.
Thank you everyone for yor input and support.
Love
Divya
The Sunday before the scheduled C section she did come to my childbirth class... It was the session on labour and birth. She sat through it, albeit distractd. After the class we talked about how we could negociate for more time. While I am not a big fan of ultrasounds... we thought if the next one showed that baby was putting on weight then perhaps we could buy some time.
However, she got admitted to the hospital for the surgery, for some reason she insisted on another ultrasound. "No need since the space is tight, cord loops are tight its rather impossible for status to change".. yet she insisted. Lo beold! no loops or loop any more. At some point I had said that baby inside was a living miracle and we should never underestimated his potential for achievement... So I was the first to get the call that said... "we had checked in the hospital for a C sec but with loops gone .. i have checked myself out"
Aparently the ultrasound expert felt that was a waste of effort since her structure (size, height, hips what ???) was such that she would invariably have a C section.
Considering that the fluid was adequate, cord and placenta we just fine, the baby was putting on weight, seemed like she was very fine and normal. Few days ago she had a show... the doctor wanted to induce her. This mom negociated and delayed the induction. After all this and much discussion she made the descion (with the support of her family) to change her doctor.
Last night, her waters leaked at around 11 pm. She called me at midnight and the doctor called me as well seperately saying that I should come and support her. There was much flurry around her as I walked into her room. Seemed like her contractions that were good and going had slowed down .. really slowed down. A resident on the floor wanted to help her along..so I was negociating right off the bat.
Last night, her waters leaked at around 11 pm. She called me at midnight and the doctor called me as well seperately saying that I should come and support her. There was much flurry around her as I walked into her room. Seemed like her contractions that were good and going had slowed down .. really slowed down. A resident on the floor wanted to help her along..so I was negociating right off the bat.
As we shut down the lights and got down to foot massage... contraction began again. She laboured through the night dozing in between contractions, contractions never closer than 5 mins, and early morning she had a back ache.
A check in the morning by the doctor showed her to be 7 ... moving to 8 and then to 9 in one contraction. The head was not entirely in position so we got her in all four/ knee chest position.
8:45 am this morning she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl weighing 2.95 kg. Baby and mom were resting together as I left the hospital .
A check in the morning by the doctor showed her to be 7 ... moving to 8 and then to 9 in one contraction. The head was not entirely in position so we got her in all four/ knee chest position.
8:45 am this morning she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl weighing 2.95 kg. Baby and mom were resting together as I left the hospital .
Horrah! I love it, she was lucky to have you and the other support all around her. Good for her that she believed in her body and baby. Getting that last USG...I love the intuition of mothers! Sending much love. Red xo
ReplyDeleteWonderful story! Congratulations to mom and dad, and what a blessing you were to them!! <3
ReplyDeleteI got a mail from this mom's sister last evening... its a letter of faith and hope and it only right that I share it here since this is a powerhouse of energy behind this wonderful birth...
ReplyDelete08.03.09
EXPERIENCE- GARIMA SINGHVI
A very Good Morning to everyone!
I, Garima Singhvi with much gratitude towards the Gohonzon stand here to share my experience about my sister’s pregnancy.
August 2008 my family was flushed with joy upon the news of my sister’s pregnancy. Days followed and so did the merriment. The expected child was to be the first child in my family and thus, our delight was boundless.
My sister’s 4th month had begun and one day before Diwali, my sister complained of spotting. She was rushed to get her ultrasound. The revelations were unexpected. Her uterine cervix had become dilated before term which without labor often results in miscarriage or premature birth. She was immediately admitted at the hospital for check ups. The doctors strictly advised that my sister had to be bed bound for the rest 5 months of her pregnancy and undergo a minor surgery to stitch up the opening in the uterus.
The painful surgery followed after which my sister had to remain in hospital for two days before she was brought back home. My sister’s condition deeply agonized me. Seeing her in pain and bed bound not only depressed her but the whole family. Nonetheless we continued to be cheery and made sure that every day while she rested, would be a celebration for her. From organizing Jam sessions at home, to hosting dinners we did it all to keep her entertained & in high spirits despite the odds.
I was going strong in faith and always had a desire to see my sister chant through this difficult time. But even though my sister & brother-in-law had attended various meetings in the Gakkai earlier, they were still not ready to take up faith.
I determined that I shall pray for them to see the exuberant power of Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo explode in their lives so that their beings yearn to chant themselves. Knowing fully well that the surgery that my sister had undergone left very slim chances for her to have a normal delivery, I endeavored to challenge the same.
Since November 2008, I had only one focused prayer, for my sister to have a normal delivery & a very happy and healthy child. Even though I was very strong in faith at this time my study had taken a back seat due to paucity of time & additional responsibilities at home. I decided to earnestly dedicate myself to study and practice for Kosen Rufu. And I did get ample opportunities to do the same. The district witnessed an infux of young members who needed to be studied with, taugh gongyo to, to be home visited. I joyfully indulged myself into activities and taking up responsibility. Despite my cramped schedules I made efforts to strengthen my own study and inculcate the same into my fellow members.
One weak area of my practice had always been to shakabuku or introducing people to Buddhism. During these days of struggle, not only did I shakabuku two people but also learnt the mystic ways of the law, when I introduced one of my friends on the telephone, who immediately took up faith the next day in Mumbai, her city of residence. That was really the strategy of Lotus Sutra working in my life as I did not even have to try too hard to introduce friends to Buddhism, which had otherwise always seemed so tough.
As my sisters ninth month began, we grew more complacent, thinking the rainy days had passed by. But in the first week of her ninth month itself karma surfaced in her life. The ultrasound revealed that the baby had two chords tightly surrounding the neck which may have resulted into choking the baby. The news threw all of us into a frenzy not knowing what to do. The doctors suggested to closely monitor the baby and wait for a week to perform a c-section since the baby was underweight at this stage. Meanwhile, my sister was advised to get her foetal monitoring done twice a day to keep a check on the baby’s heartbeat and movements. Days went by but the fear and stress did not.
Even the thought of desiring a normal delivery had left all traces from everyone’s mind by now. But this was the time for me to muster all my faith & show the proof of mystic law to everyone. I tenaciously held on to my target of praying earnestly for my sister to have a normal delivery of a healthy child.
A BSG member advised me to read the Gosho- Easy delivery of a fortune child to my sister. Somehow never got a chance to read the Gosho to her however I started reading it everyday while praying for my sister.
The tremendous support from members bolstered up my prayers as well.
By now one week had passed & the scheduled day for the Caesarean delivery had come. My sister’s apprehension had still not gone away. She was worried that the underweight baby had not got adequate time to mature in the womb. In the morning hours as she was getting ready to go to the hospital, I finally decided to read out the lines from Gosho- easy delivery of a fortune child to her.
Nichiren Diashonin writes- “I wholeheartedly congratulate you. The child is the one who will inherit both your physical & spiritual aspects. How could you possibly suffer a prolonged labour? I expect that the child will be born quickly. If you take this medicine- the medicine of Nam Myoho Renge Kyo, there can be no doubt. Even the darkness becomes bright when a lantern is lit and even muddy water becomes clear when the moon shines on it. If the water of your faith is clear, the moon of blessings will surely cast its reflection on it and protect you. You are assured of an easy delivery.”
Upon hearing these lines, she also mustered up courage & went to the hospital confidently to face whatever life had in stored for her even it meant getting a Caesarean section done to get the child out instantly.
The ultrasound was done & the baby’s weight was checked after which the Caesarean section was to be performed. And the results of the Ultrasound were not only startling for my family but also the doctors.
This was a unique case when the two chords that had tightly circled the baby’s neck had disappeared completely! And also that the baby’s weight had increased to the desired levels revealing good health.
Another ultrasound was followed the next day to cross verify the previous days observations. The results were the same thereby completely ruling out the Caesarean delivery for the baby. Doctors confirmed that my sister could finally have a normal delivery and wait for the natural course of child birth to take place now.
The exhilaration that my family & I went through was indescribable. The Mystic law had shown actual proof in my sister’s life. My sister has not only been reading the Gosho ever since but also offered to chant with me yesterday. My prayer has been answered as my sisters being earnestly wants to chant Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo.
What is faith is nothing unusual. Faith means putting one’s trust in the Lotus Sutra & chanting Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo and uphold the Law as a woman cherishes her husband, as a man lays down his life for his wife, or as a child refuses to leave its mother.
I am hoping that by the next few days my house would have expanded by two feet.
And I am absolutely sure that my sister would have given birth to a very cheerful healthy fortune baby!
I determine to continue reporting victories and sharing experiences with all of you month after month, year after year.
Thank You.
This is truly inspiring!
ReplyDeleteThank You -
Peace
Heather