Saturday, February 27, 2010

The Doula Effect

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If a doula were a drug, it would be unethical not to use it.
~ John H. Kennell

 

        3 men in Pronita’s Life

It was one of those times where, what I called “the Doula Effect” happened. I was getting my things together after a Saturday evening class…( 16th of January 2010 ) when Pronita walked in, and just plopped herself in a chair. She was so ready to have her second baby. I was there for the birth of the first one. We got talking and she said she remembered that my being there had helped… so would I be there for this time.

Did I want to be there .. absolutely. Foggy Delhi in January so all I wanted was a ride when ever she needed me. A week later, I got a message from the father to be that they had been in the hospital all night and that would it be ok for me to come…so car arrived and I got to the hospital at 7:30 am. The doctor had checked and she was 5 cm at 7:15am.

Here she was lying in her bed saying ‘well even though its been a night where she could not sleep, but it was ok.’ Sometimes, when the mom is saying that.. In my head a voice is saying .. ok watch now…

Sure enough as she sat on the chair just a little after 7:40am it was just as if she was waiting for me…there was a different speed in baby time. Within the next 20 minutes she was ready to bring this baby here.

It felt as if she was waiting for me. And it feels amazing to think that. Wonderful birth, true knot in the cord, dad completely caught up and sure the mom did her thing… gave birth.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Celebration of Life

Penny SimkinPenny Simkin and Me

A wonderful day organised by Chennai Birth Network on 21st November 2009. This was a day spent in the company of Penny Simkin and a lot many more wonderful women bringing their own brand of energy and passion for birth.

There is reason to celebrate each day of our lives …not just the good parts but just being alive and this fantastic ability to feel. Even when that feeling is PAIN.

Penny taught me something rather significant

We can feel pain without suffering and suffering without pain. Its something to reflect on as we move through life predefining how we will or are supposed to feel without actually pausing and clearing out this rubbish to make room for real real feelings.

and here is an interesting concept

To quote Frederick Wirth in his book Prenatal Parenting;

In The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell states, “The one thing that is constant in all myths of the world is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation.” At our darkest moments of despair comes the light of understanding. The same thought is expressed in the poem The Prophet, where Kahlil Gibran states, “Pain is the bitter pill of the inner physician that cracks the shell of our understanding.” How can a seed grow into a flower unless the seed swells and dies? Learning new ways to live and love is associated with crises and pain that force us to let go of old behaviours and beliefs in order to pass over a threshold to new understanding. This is the quest story’s inner passage of growth that transcends all societies.

In Western society we seem to have lost our appreciation of darkness as a process for finding light, . . .

The word pregnant means having possibilities. . .

It is a significant period, rich in momentous possibilities for psychological and spiritual development. you must be willing to forgo old concepts to learn new. This can be painful, but like your unborn child you have the capacity to endure it.

So with nothing else to say for now except thinking Deepa Santosh, my birth friend from Chennai for inviting me to this day and sending me the lovely pictures … YAY!